That has got to be the hardest one to take, I think. You can kind of understand accident, disease, etc, the things beyond a person’s control. Suicide, on the other hand, is so tragic, because you always feel like there was something that you could have/should have done, even if there wasn’t. I never knew my father because he committed suicide when I was a baby.
With my friend, we had no idea he was suicidal - he always seemed so upbeat. And you’re right - after it happened I kept asking myself if there was something I should have seen.
Suicide - I have to agree with you. For those left behind there will always be some unwanted baggage.
It’s been 17 years since my best friend killed himself and while I’ve forgiven him and made my peace with him being gone I still miss him. He was like the big brother I never had. And I know he would have been supportive of my transition.
My story.
Around 1998-1999 I met a girl through a friend. Her husband recently died, and we hit it off.
However, for some reason I was just too good for her (go figure) - I treated her like a lady, all respectfully etc.
Yet she cut off ties with me after a while, and the last thing I heard was that she commited suicide with her dad’s gun.
It do bother me (asking myself what I did wrong etc) but it doesn’t help to keep pondering on that, so I tend to think of other things and it usually go away, and only resurface when stuff like the above happen.
I’ve decided not to condemn such people because you never know why they’re making that choice… One day when we all stand at Judgment Day before the ultimate judge, will we know.
Never mentioned this anywhere else, this is the first time I make mention of it.
One of the teachers at work just lost her son this week, and I’m pretty sure it was suicide. He went missing for several days before they found him.
Ouch, that is a bad one 
Today is old roommate’s birthday. His cat is 3 years old today too. I’m not going to work. I’ve given his cat some extra cuddling. I think I’m going to go out for a long walk in a local wetlands park in an hour or so.