# Things you wish you could say (at work) **URL:** \ **Category:** george\ **Created:** [August 24, 2013, 4:17pm UTC](https://cog.discourse.group/t/things-you-wish-you-could-say-at-work/435 "2013-08-24T16:17:07Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 26
**Author:** ![MSUAlexis](https://sea1.discourse-cdn.com/flex001/user_avatar/cog.discourse.group/msualexis/32/7_2.png) [@MSUAlexis](https://cog.discourse.group/u/MSUAlexis)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 2014, 12:23am UTC](https://cog.discourse.group/t/things-you-wish-you-could-say-at-work/435/508 "2014-09-23T00:23:05Z")
There are nine people on shift today, and only one phone line is ringing. Somebody better answer that phone before it rings again and it won’t be a doctor!! Oh, wait…I did say that. Very loudly. And sure as s\*%+ that phone got answered! ---
**Author:** ![PadrinoFive7](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/df788c/32.png) [@PadrinoFive7](https://cog.discourse.group/u/PadrinoFive7)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2014, 6:27pm UTC](https://cog.discourse.group/t/things-you-wish-you-could-say-at-work/435/509 "2014-09-24T18:27:18Z")
Is it just coincidence that both _Cluster Fsck_ and _Circular File_ are given the same acronym? ---
**Author:** ![ClockWorkXon](https://sea1.discourse-cdn.com/flex001/user_avatar/cog.discourse.group/clockworkxon/32/593_2.png) [@ClockWorkXon](https://cog.discourse.group/u/ClockWorkXon)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2014, 6:33pm UTC](https://cog.discourse.group/t/things-you-wish-you-could-say-at-work/435/510 "2014-09-24T18:33:12Z")
> [@PadrinoFive7](#): > > Is it just coincidence that both Cluster Fsck and Circular File are given the same acronym? I’ve only heard Cluster Fnck called Charlie Foxtrot. ---
**Author:** ![Darktan](https://sea1.discourse-cdn.com/flex001/user_avatar/cog.discourse.group/darktan/32/36_2.png) [@Darktan](https://cog.discourse.group/u/Darktan)\ **Post date:** [October 2, 2014, 3:31pm UTC](https://cog.discourse.group/t/things-you-wish-you-could-say-at-work/435/511 "2014-10-02T15:31:45Z")
I know you hate the SQL alerts from my server (since it’s chewing through a maintenance schedule). I get annoyed at the alerts for high CPU too. This does not mean that you TURN OFF THE FSCKING SQL SERVER!!! Oh and then don’t tell me for 3 days. ---
**Author:** ![ClockWorkXon](https://sea1.discourse-cdn.com/flex001/user_avatar/cog.discourse.group/clockworkxon/32/593_2.png) [@ClockWorkXon](https://cog.discourse.group/u/ClockWorkXon)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2014, 2:57am UTC](https://cog.discourse.group/t/things-you-wish-you-could-say-at-work/435/512 "2014-10-03T02:57:49Z")
> [@Darktan](#): > > This does not mean that you TURN OFF THE FSCKING SQL SERVER!!! > > Oh and then don’t tell me for 3 days. I sincerely hope the number of fatalities was commensurate with the level of heinousness of the incident. ---
**Author:** ![PadrinoFive7](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/df788c/32.png) [@PadrinoFive7](https://cog.discourse.group/u/PadrinoFive7)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2014, 3:06am UTC](https://cog.discourse.group/t/things-you-wish-you-could-say-at-work/435/513 "2014-10-03T03:06:54Z")
What part of “not going to happen” did you not understand? ---
**Author:** ![moufassa](https://sea1.discourse-cdn.com/flex001/user_avatar/cog.discourse.group/moufassa/32/41_2.png) [@moufassa](https://cog.discourse.group/u/moufassa)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2014, 3:33am UTC](https://cog.discourse.group/t/things-you-wish-you-could-say-at-work/435/514 "2014-10-03T03:33:09Z")
> [@Darktan](#): > > This does not mean that you TURN OFF THE FSCKING SQL SERVER!!! What the deuce? O\_O ---
**Author:** ![RRabbit42](https://sea1.discourse-cdn.com/flex001/user_avatar/cog.discourse.group/rrabbit42/32/79_2.png) [@RRabbit42](https://cog.discourse.group/u/RRabbit42)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2014, 5:08am UTC](https://cog.discourse.group/t/things-you-wish-you-could-say-at-work/435/515 "2014-10-03T05:08:47Z")
If you’re not good with technology, then that’s an opportunity for you to learn new things. However, right now we’re reading words off of a cardboard box to make sure you’ve got the right item. ---
**Author:** ![Viking](https://sea1.discourse-cdn.com/flex001/user_avatar/cog.discourse.group/viking/32/32_2.png) [@Viking](https://cog.discourse.group/u/Viking)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2014, 8:36am UTC](https://cog.discourse.group/t/things-you-wish-you-could-say-at-work/435/516 "2014-10-03T08:36:16Z")
> [@Darktan](#): > > This does not mean that you TURN OFF THE FSCKING SQL SERVER!!! In the name of Odin… Please say they didn’t really do that… ---
**Author:** ![Darktan](https://sea1.discourse-cdn.com/flex001/user_avatar/cog.discourse.group/darktan/32/36_2.png) [@Darktan](https://cog.discourse.group/u/Darktan)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2014, 11:46am UTC](https://cog.discourse.group/t/things-you-wish-you-could-say-at-work/435/517 "2014-10-03T11:46:19Z")
Yes this happened. Some backstory… This is a monitoring server for our production and non-production environments. The SQL backend records events, performance data and anything that happens within the system. The db is on this server because it’s a bear to control hence finally putting in a maintenance plan. You can turn off SQL and for the most part nothing will happen, but you’ll loose performance alerts and no longer record the event logs for all 250+ servers. I managed to drop and recreate the db yesterday and hopefully it won’t go nuts again anytime soon. And the not telling me was partly my fault as my email filter tagged it differently and got missed. Still, you’d think a little more follow up would be in order. ---
**Author:** ![Blurr](https://sea1.discourse-cdn.com/flex001/user_avatar/cog.discourse.group/blurr/32/4237_2.png) [@Blurr](https://cog.discourse.group/u/Blurr)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2014, 3:20pm UTC](https://cog.discourse.group/t/things-you-wish-you-could-say-at-work/435/519 "2014-10-03T15:20:14Z")
You did not just ask me what tickets I’m currently working on. You, who will only show up one day out of the entire week. You, who needs to work on tickets more because you can never really complete a significant one without my help. You, who often misses emails and forgets details of tasks you’ve already done a few times. You, who ignores documentation when it’s been mentioned to you several times. You have the gall to imply I’m free to work on a ticket when I’ve been handling the entire office on my own for the week without ever needing to ask you for anything. Go work on those tickets and actually finish them without getting me involved. And yes, I’m actually not busy with anything for the rest of the day and no, I will not help you. I’ve earned my time to take things easy. ---
**Author:** ![MSUAlexis](https://sea1.discourse-cdn.com/flex001/user_avatar/cog.discourse.group/msualexis/32/7_2.png) [@MSUAlexis](https://cog.discourse.group/u/MSUAlexis)\ **Post date:** [October 5, 2014, 12:06am UTC](https://cog.discourse.group/t/things-you-wish-you-could-say-at-work/435/520 "2014-10-05T00:06:05Z")
No, you won’t go see the client who just walked in. There is a line. They will wait their turn. No, it doesn’t matter that you are the only one who sees lizards - there are two clients in front of them who have been patiently waiting, and they are to be seen first, per hospital policy. We see them, in order of arrival, no matter how you “feel” about it. That’s always been the rule. \*\*Apparently my filter is broken, because I did actually say this. Because I’m tired of one person in particular picking and choosing her appointments. This was the third time of the day she tried it. It shall be addressed with the higher-ups. ---
**Author:** ![Blurr](https://sea1.discourse-cdn.com/flex001/user_avatar/cog.discourse.group/blurr/32/4237_2.png) [@Blurr](https://cog.discourse.group/u/Blurr)\ **Post date:** [October 6, 2014, 3:39pm UTC](https://cog.discourse.group/t/things-you-wish-you-could-say-at-work/435/521 "2014-10-06T15:39:53Z")
Another brain fart for you, good sir. Of course I’m in the office today. Not sure how in the world you would think I’m not in. I always thought the mere fact that I’m in the office doing my job way more than you (or the fact that my vacation and sick days are maxed) would kinda tell you something. But alas, I may be expecting too much. ---
**Author:** ![PadrinoFive7](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/df788c/32.png) [@PadrinoFive7](https://cog.discourse.group/u/PadrinoFive7)\ **Post date:** [October 14, 2014, 6:31pm UTC](https://cog.discourse.group/t/things-you-wish-you-could-say-at-work/435/522 "2014-10-14T18:31:59Z")
How about it’s a blatant revelation that $team was not doing their job very well for the last few years? This is not a _data issue_. It’s a work ethic issue. ---
**Author:** ![GITM](https://sea1.discourse-cdn.com/flex001/user_avatar/cog.discourse.group/gitm/32/540_2.png) [@GITM](https://cog.discourse.group/u/GITM)\ **Post date:** [October 15, 2014, 12:51am UTC](https://cog.discourse.group/t/things-you-wish-you-could-say-at-work/435/523 "2014-10-15T00:51:47Z")
Dear $Boss, The next time you send me some help, please send help that doesn’t actually make more work for me than they actually do. ---
**Author:** ![Ook](https://sea1.discourse-cdn.com/flex001/user_avatar/cog.discourse.group/ook/32/72_2.png) [@Ook](https://cog.discourse.group/u/Ook)\ **Post date:** [October 15, 2014, 9:59am UTC](https://cog.discourse.group/t/things-you-wish-you-could-say-at-work/435/524 "2014-10-15T09:59:54Z")
Dear $Luser You start your work at 08:00. Now, pray tell me, how is it that you phoned me at 09:00 telling me that your laptop lost its drive mappings? What did you do during that whole hour? Also, I created a shortcut on your desktop, telling you that you can double-click on it in order to reconnect your networked drives just in case, but it seemed you deleted that. I’m not gonna waste my time walking you through the recycle bin spiel to recover that icon you deleted. SO you can jolly well wait for tomorrow when I’ll be back at the orrrfice again. kthanxbai ---
**Author:** ![Woodman](https://sea1.discourse-cdn.com/flex001/user_avatar/cog.discourse.group/woodman/32/24_2.png) [@Woodman](https://cog.discourse.group/u/Woodman)\ **Post date:** [October 15, 2014, 11:56am UTC](https://cog.discourse.group/t/things-you-wish-you-could-say-at-work/435/525 "2014-10-15T11:56:01Z")
The person that was hired on my recommendation did not quit Friday before 90 days at work. She worked with my wife for years, but has apparently had a backbonectomy in the last 10 or so. I’m embarrassed and frustrated. ---
**Author:** ![DocDubious](https://sea1.discourse-cdn.com/flex001/user_avatar/cog.discourse.group/docdubious/32/995_2.png) [@DocDubious](https://cog.discourse.group/u/DocDubious)\ **Post date:** [October 15, 2014, 1:18pm UTC](https://cog.discourse.group/t/things-you-wish-you-could-say-at-work/435/526 "2014-10-15T13:18:19Z")
I hired a guy mostly sight-unseen. I had met him about six-eight years before, and was very favorably impressed with him then, so when I got word from a mutual acquaintance who worked for us that he was interested in a job, I said “Hell yeah!” In the interim, his weight had more than doubled. He had been a beefy linebacker sized guy… now there were two linebackers on one set of legs. He didn’t really fit in the spaces everyone else did - behind the sales counter, through doorways, sharing space in the mixing room. Plus he didn’t like to move much, so he was not a self-starter on making runs to the back for stock or tasks like that. The extra poundage made him hot, too, so he rubbed his back and his ass against doorframes, soda machines, etc to scratch. Like you said, @Woodman, a bit embarrassed when people would say “Why’d you hire him?” He didn’t pick up on the paint knowledge, either, and so we let him go. I found out he was living in his parent’s basement: he was in his 40’s. The guys at the store closest to his house called me and told me he’d pull into their lot before opening time, slide down in his seat, and hide… apparently until his parents left to go to their work, when he’d straighten up and drive off… to go home? That went on for a couple of months. ---
**Author:** ![Woodman](https://sea1.discourse-cdn.com/flex001/user_avatar/cog.discourse.group/woodman/32/24_2.png) [@Woodman](https://cog.discourse.group/u/Woodman)\ **Post date:** [October 15, 2014, 2:48pm UTC](https://cog.discourse.group/t/things-you-wish-you-could-say-at-work/435/527 "2014-10-15T14:48:45Z")
Awesome update of awesomeness. The person that works with me is going to fill in for her until we replace her, during my most busy season. So I guess that’s it’s own reward. Last time took two months, not unknown for it to take 6 months to replace someone here. ---
**Author:** ![Blurr](https://sea1.discourse-cdn.com/flex001/user_avatar/cog.discourse.group/blurr/32/4237_2.png) [@Blurr](https://cog.discourse.group/u/Blurr)\ **Post date:** [October 16, 2014, 9:40pm UTC](https://cog.discourse.group/t/things-you-wish-you-could-say-at-work/435/528 "2014-10-16T21:40:53Z")
I hate you, soon-to-be-outdated handheld device. Why won’t you activate on the first try? Why is it you would literally take hours to finish, on top of that? You’re the bane of my existence. I’m glad many people here began sipping the iPhone kool-aid. [Previous page](https://cog.discourse.group/t/things-you-wish-you-could-say-at-work/435.md?page=25) [Next page](https://cog.discourse.group/t/things-you-wish-you-could-say-at-work/435.md?page=27)