???
“If you’re hawt enough, we’ll consider you”??
“What are you wearing?”
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Um, khakis
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“Khakis. That’s hot.”
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Lol
I was reminded of Jake, from State Farm…
And don’t forget the ubiquitous comb in the sock…
IT support technician opening
Remuneration: negotiable Basic salary
Location: Cape Town, Observatory, Black River Park
Education level: Matric
Own transport required: Yes
Type: Permanent
Job description
Real Meal Revolution is a young and fast-growing tech based healthy eating company founded on the principles of the best-selling book by Prof Tim Noakes. Provision of services through technology is a key focus of the company, with the aim of deploying platforms and tools to provide tools to customers who want to lose weight and improve their health.
We are looking for an IT support technician to handle incoming support requests as well as code newsletters and basic web pages. The candidate needs to be self-motivated and have a real passion for technology and development.
Start date: As soon as possible
Responsibilities
• Handle incoming support requests via live chat
• Respond to support requests that were sent via email/after hours
• Diagnose customer issues
• Splice newsletters and basic web pages
• Log and keep records of bugs/issues
• Query existing database to solve problems
To apply for this position please email your CV to careers@realmealrevolution.com
Requirements
Matric
One year experience
Higher Grade Maths
Experience in HTML / CSS
An understanding of databases, especially MySQL
Good problem-solving ability
Understanding and willingness to learn PHP
Personal Skills/Attributes
Self-motivated
Enthusiastic
Proactive
Excellent verbal/written communication skills
Analytical
Friendly, helpful attitude
CONTACT DETAILS
Penny Cobbledick
Real Meal RevolutionCobbledick? Really?
Plus, who can have all that required experience in a year’s time?
Run. Not only do they want all those skills in someone with a year of experience, they want you to be on call at all times. There’s no salary range, so they probably pay poorly, and they sound like a cultish culture.
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I dunno… that “after hours” line makes me think customers can reach them via live chat during hours, but send email after hours. So you’d answer those.
Guess I can see your way. The cult might be true, or maybe not. If I was a young IT guy who had taught myself web pages coding and was looking for a break, I’d at least interview.
This. At least it doesn’t require a bunch of shite you’d never use in that environment.
This one… warning bells be ringing…
They are looking for an IT bitch.
Here is all this mess that’s Joe’s cousin blagged together and Bob’s son smashed some printers into. I think Sue set up the phone/tablet access as well. Do you know how to make OpenOffice look like Word?
No overtime is approved, but we do need this straightened out by next week for our systems audit.
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Looks like someone’s IT bitch has walked out the door and not left any documentation behind, so now they’re frantically looking for someone to sort out their mess.
No freaking way would I even think about applying for that one.
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Speaking of which…
We’re down an IT admin here. If you’re in Cincy, or know someone, PM me and I’ll shoot you the corporate link to the posting.
Pity I am not close enough… South Africa is miles away… otherwise I would be able to commute on a daily basis 
Ugh. The Government Jobmatch website sucks. Also, most of the job postings are lies. Like, actual lies. Some of them are questionably legal too.
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“Class 2 Driver wanted in Newcastle” - sounds good, click on the link and it’s a bloody CV upload website like Monster.
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“Local driver required” - well, I typed in my post code, so local means… yup local means Shrewsbury. SHREWSBURY. Everybody loves a nine hour daily commute!
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“Class 2 local drop driver” - hours: 0600-2000 mon-fri. This is impossible, you can only legally drive for nine hours per day, and this is a fourteen hour shift. If there was someone else with you that would explain it but no it specifically says driving alone making local deliveries.
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“HGV driver start immediately” - click on that and the description is an 0161 telephone number and nothing else. A quick look at the phone book later and yes; Manchester. That’s only 300 miles from home. Closer than Shrewsbury anyway.
Looking through the rest of the results it seems like a majority of the jobs postings are either bullshit, miles away, or simply links to create a new account and yet another jobsearch website. By the time you get to page three it’s stopped returning results for “category 2 driver” and instead is returning results for just “2”.
And yet you get penalised for not using the Government website. FUUUUUUUUUUUUU
Adding to that I have found that one headhunter outfit posted three job adverts for the same job (on the same jobseeker site), they only changed the headline/main title a bit…
Feh.
I’m moving from ‘polite dismissal’ to ‘outright rude’ to deal with cold-calls trying to get me a great job selling insurance, despite my profiles on job sites saying I’m no longer looking and have no experience with sales.
From what I understand, they’re borderline pyramid scheme jobs. Sell policies at commission, maybe get a promotion to a maangement role.
Also, $Wife’s ex ‘sold insurance’ for a while, which was apparently secret code for ‘do nothing besides run up credit cards’ so she’d prefer me stay in IT for the moment.
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Close, it’s not so much pyramid scheme as just sales on commission. The similarity comes if you want to stop running on the hamster wheel and sit at a desk a bit more. I know people who make money hand over fist doing this sort of work, but they’d do the same at a car lot, mattress store, igloo selling air conditioners.
These jobs are for A) People who are hard charging and want to sell shit, B) people who don’t want a real job and kind of sort of want to do some stuff and make some money, C) Someone who just needs some extra cash and get out of the house some.
A career at these places is rough, and the goal is to sell enough that you can get people working for you and make it self perpetuating. So yeah, kind of like a pyramid scheme, but legit. More like a franchise.