Things you wish you could say (at work)

Since this is the “George” category, this is where the George stuff goes!

Shockingly, I actually enjoy working with all of my Ars coworkers. However, the majority of them are in their late 20s, which makes me feel old. This is payback for when I was in my mid-to-late 20, when I made it a habit to make my mid-to-late 30s coworkers feel old.

Time, harsh mistress, etc.

There are soldiers in my company, wearing my uniform, that weren’t even alive for Desert Storm.


I would ask for my uniforms back if I were you. People never really take care of other people’s shit as well as they take care of their own.

Something wrong at the quartermasters?


Yeah, I hit that mark about 3 years ago.

The new hire here is a 25 year old and she’s just so damn energetic. She’s already had lunch with 2/3rds of the female management in the office and at this rate will be my boss in 6 months.

Tell me about it. There’s one here who was bemoaning the fact that she’s old now that she’s turned 25. Grrr.

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The new guy I brought on this year is 19. Most of the time I don’t notice, but every now and then the age difference hits me.

WTF is going on? We’re a month out from a major change and we haven’t had one meeting with details that go beyond the generalistic “$Project takes effect soon!”. This affects the entire team, yet very few people are privy to the details. What? Do you expect us to have a crash-course in the details on Day One? Where’s the respect?

Someone turned on the fan. The monkeys are armed. It is only a matter of time.

Well, if someone is saying they are old, just agree. “yes dear, you are old, fat and ugly”.


My coworkers have found something to take their attention away from making Siri on the helpdesk iPads say bad song lyrics in her monotone.


No, officer, I don’t have the time or the inclination to play with you right now. Go chase a ball.

I am totally busy doing important things for the company because no zero day exploit took our servers down.

I came into work and our servers were back up and running without any viruses.

(I do actually have email and internet access, just no access to my working files.)

We’ve been doing it this way for the last SIX YEARS! Why, after all this time, is this a holy-crapoly-oh-my-jeebus-we’re-all-on-fire issue?

Perhaps a rhetorical question that should put light into this situation for you: How does a VP, who signs off on this quarterly, works with the data weekly, if not daily, not understand the value or representation of each field?

Sounds like someone got caught not paying attention…for the last 6 years.

This image sucks balls. It has all kinds of issues that make the setup process way longer than it has to be. Why do you continue to insist we use this image for your department? It doesn’t even have the SCCM client as part of the image. If I wouldn’t get into way more trouble than it’s worth, I’d install the standard image and push out the necessary software for the department. But way too many people would get way too butthurt. So fix your gorram image before I drive up there and throttle you.

Tell me again why in the bloody blue hell we don’t have a keycard for this building for our department. We’re there every day and we occupy five floors over there. Having the user meet us at the elevator or security swipe their card for us is not ideal. Especially when we need to visit more than one floor.

That makes me think so much of this post I found somewhere:

As of tomorrow, employees will only be able to access the building using 
individual security cards.  Pictures will be taken next Wednesday and 
employees will receive their cards in two weeks.

One of the new people here was born in 1981. I was in high school then. It makes me feel old when I think about it.

(On the plus side, though - she’s not moaning about being old!) :stuck_out_tongue:

Nothing. Because I’m not supposed to be there.

My second week of leave (planned for four months) has been cancelled. I would have spent this week differently had I known I’d be back to work next week.

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Wow, that blows… Sorry, Sig