Nabiki said y’all were having a party over here…
What’s happenin’ people?
Hey, the arms dealer has arrived!
Didja remember to bring the truck stocked with tactical LARTs and the Clue-By-Four launcher?
Hello! 
Yep, the arsenal is always with me. 
WooHOO! Got my ZoT!
Of course! Couldn’t leave you without it. 
2 Likes
So before I knew of the new site over here, I posted up on the Vanilla forum about having had a motorcycle accident earlier this year. I got a couple of questions about it so I figured I’d give a brief (as possible) run down here.
In June, I was on my way home on my bike. A soccer-mom in a mini van pulled out of a side street in front of me whilst talking on her cell phone, completely ignoring her stop sign. I managed to avoid a collision with her at that point. Unfortunately, my luck was not to last. A very short time later, she approached what I’m guessing was the next street she wanted to turn down, but it surprised her (not paying attention?). She was going too fast to make the turn, and slammed on her brakes, causing me to slow rapidly. As she started to make the turn, I attempted to go around her to her right since I didn’t want to risk over-braking and losing control.
Well, I think she must have decided at the last minute that she wasn’t going to make the turn, and swerved back over into my lane. She almost hit me, but I saw her coming and instinctively grabbed my front brake. This was a mistake. While I avoided the soccer-mom hell-bent on my destruction, I locked up my front wheel, which then skidded out from underneath me.
The bike went down and I came off, landed on the side of my face, bounced, landed again on my chest, bounced, and landed on my left arm. I then slid 120 feet before coming to rest.
I was wearing my helmet and my armored jacket. Road rash was minimal. If not for the helmet, my head would have resembled a November 1st Jack-O-Lantern made of ground meat laying in the street. However, I did some pretty serious internal damage. For any of the CoGers who know me, remember that I am not a small person. Instead of floating lightly to the ground, I hit like a sack of shit. The chest impact bruised my heart, and the side impact drove my elbow into my ribcage, breaking 4 ribs. Each rib was broken in 3 places. One of those pieces punctured my left lung and another lacerated my spleen.
After the ambulance ride to the hospital, My pissed-off heart stopped beating on the ER table. Twice. They finally got my heart re-started and stabilized, and I was to spend a total of 15 days in the ICU. Two chest tubes and a respirator made this oh, so fun. My poor wife was a mess but was there with me through thick and thin.
Oh, and the evil, death-dealing soccer mom? She never stopped and left the scene and nobody knows who she was. Cool, huh?
So, here I am, months later and recovering. I’m back at work, and the breaks are healed, though I can really feel it when the weather changes. Lung capacity is down, as is my heart capacity, but the doc thinks this will heal with time. My voice is not quite normal due to the respirator tube being in for two weeks, and it may never be back to normal, but it’s livable. Mrs. Boomer tells me I have a sexy, gravelly voice now. I think she’s just saying that tho. 
I even got my bike back, but I’ve decided to give up riding for now. It’s going to be a constant reminder to me as it sits there in the garage looking at me, at least until I can sell it. The insurance company fixed it all up nice and shiny.
Well, enough of that. Here I am. Good to see that most of everyone is still around. I miss you all!
Clueless soccer mom probably never even saw you. In my experience, cows in mini-vans are the absolute worst when it comes to paying attention. I’ve been nearly run off the road more times than I can count by some clueless mini-van driver. One time, the woman was yelling at her son as she changed lanes. Her son saw me and cringed, but she never did.
I’m very, very glad that you survived, and may you have a full recovery!
Yow! Glad to hear that you’re on the mend.
Holy snapping duck5hit, Batman!! That’s just too close for comfort.
As Nabiki said - I hope you make a full recovery.
Yikes! What everyone else said. I’d love to ride, but I feel like I take my life in my hands riding in a metal box as it is.
Yikes. The whole experience sucks big man. As someone who recently just bruised his ribs, I can only imagine what it feels like to break them. At least the bike didn’t roll over on you. I had an ATV do that to me when I was a kid. Having a handlebar hit next to my neck while I was on the ground, and then having it roll over me to have the other handle bar hit on the other side of my neck is a feeling I will always remember. I’d say Gratch and I could take you out but we moved down to the DC area. The next time we head back home though, we’ll have to get together.
Yeah, it was an experience. It changes the way you look at things a bit. For instance, my lusers still piss me off, but not nearly as much or for as long. Not worth the hassle. Family and friends (GOOD ones that is) are what matters and those are my priority now. I still want to ride, but I’ve decided that the cost if something were to happen again is too high. You can only be so careful and then it’s up to the other drivers on the road. I DON’T trust them. I also don’t want to put my wife through that again. She really did think she’d lost me.
DT, I’m sure if you ever get around this way again, Mrs. Boomer and I would love to get together with you and Gratch. I’ve missed you guys.
Yeesh. Stories like this are why I’m hypervigilant about motorcycles and other non-traditional vehicles on the roads (we have a BIG biking (pedal) community here). They are small, they can be unstable, and they need extra room to maneuver. I may be the mom with three kids in the SUV, but I’m always watching. Part of that comes from the fact that my dad was almost killed riding a motorcycle when some guy whipped around a building in a parking lot and slammed into my dad. 4 months in the hospital - thank goodness he pulled through or I wouldn’t even exist. He raced motocross when I was young so I got a big education in bikes and their abilities…and lack thereof.
Holy shit, Boomer! Glad to see you’re still in one piece. Soccer moms in minivans are the worst.
Yeah, that’s awful. Very glad that you’re okay. I miss my bike from time to time, but then I hear a story like yours and it helps ease the longing. Good to hear that you’re on the mend.
Sorry about the accident. The wife won’t let me ride, so my bike is rotting by the side of the house.
Oh.
Hello. I’m back too! 
So you are. Glad to see our maniac mixologist!
GNAAAAAT!! I miss visiting with you and Nabiki. I just got back here, myself, so it’s great to see you!
Also, SLOW BRAIN. You’re married! Did not catch that the first time around!
Yup. Just had my first year anniversary… Times fun when your having flys!
Whutup, Gnat! Sorry about your bike sitting. My Jeep is doing the same thing. It sucks hard.