I staunchly confirm that the event as described has never happened to me. 
You have little idea just how stupid people are in this day and age. Those 20-odd samples are but a miniscule snapshot of what passes as āintelligentā conversation in this day and age.
Welcome to hell. Hereās your dictionary, thesaurus and live feed to Facebook.
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Can I get an āAmenā from the congregation?
Amen! And a hallelujah to boot!
Q: What is really great to have some of, but really bad to be full of?
A: āAweā (awesome vs awful)
Had to share this.
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(Something I was working on for a project, and quickly got out ofā¦ uhā¦)
Whatās the difference between masturbation and dating?
- Itās not only possible to have a healthy, stable relationship with your hand, it doesnāt involve a lot of tear-filled ādiscussionsā until 4 a.m.
- You will never forget your anniversary. Or your handās birthday, which coincidentally is the same day.
- Your hand will always respect you in the morning, and has no problem cooking you breakfast.
- Your hand will never ask you to go shopping for shoes, dresses, swimsuits, or tampons.
- If you hand ever cheats on you, itās okay - youāre included.
- You already know your handās mother and have learned to deal with it.
- Itās cheaper to get divorced from your hand.
- Getting married to your hand does not involve 1000 friends and relatives, a caterer, a priest, eight months of hunting for the right dress, several weeks of cold feet, a bachelor party (that defies laws of nature, morality, and state statutes), wedding cake all over your face, and fifty men diving out of the way of 100 women trying to catch the bouquet. Also, itās free.
- You never have to worry about filing joint taxes.
- Your hand will never make you sleep on the couch.
- Your hand will never have the locks changed and lock you out of the house.
- Your hand will never get a pet that you despise.
Your hand will never clog up your computer with viruses from watching porn online.
Iām going to save this to my desktop so I can add to it from time to time.
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Knock knockā¦
Whoās there?
Interrupting A-10.
Interrupting A-
Brrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrt
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Walking through the front door, if you have pets:
Dogs: OMG youāre home! You were gone five minutes, and we thought you were never coming back!!
Cats: Who let you in here?
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Q: What do you call a strange man who is constantly seen lurking around military operations, doesnāt make eye contact, never takes his hands out of his pockets, and has a disturbing smile on his face?
A: Mission creep.
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If said man carried a sniper rifle, Iād say heād be known as scope creep.
Totally OT, but I just noticed how creepy @moufassaās avatar isā¦
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The chibi version was creepier.
Hmmm. That one must have been while I was away. 
This one?
ā¦or this one?
The second
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Iād still have that one but it didnāt work properly as an avatar.
Ah, okay - I recognise the chibi one now. I LIKE the first one.
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Thereās an article in the local news site with the headline āIs the Internet giving us all ADHD?ā. I started reading it but got distracted. Iāll let you know later what itās
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all about.