Sgt. John Scot should use a portion of the 25 million he’s holding on to you for some proper English lessons when he returns stateside.
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This is to intimate you of a very important information which will be
of a great help to redeem you from all the difficulties you have been
experiencing in getting your long over due payment due to excessive
demand 0f money from you by both corrupt Bank officials and Courier
Companies after which your fund remains unpaid to you.
Translation:
We have the unmitigated gall and sheer lack of shame to use the old tactic of “we’re protecting you from con-men” in order to con you out of your money.
I thought it translated more as:
I’m ignorant and stupid, but hope that you are even more so. Wanna buy a bridge?
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I’m still trying to unload this oceanfront property in Wyoming.
I keep getting really odd emails that have been formatted to look like the old (< iOS 6) iPhone “new voicemail” notification. Hovering over any area of the image shows that virtually every single pixel links to a different address, all of them in China.
Is this the new “blue Windows XP popup box” scam?
Apparently, there is now a “Professional” version of Cialis. Yes, I thought the same thing that you are right now.
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Obviously, it must be harder to get than the regular version…
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[sarcasm] Yeah, I’m going to buy stock based on advice given by SPAM.[/sarcasm]
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I keep wondering what that IPO looked like. I just can’t see a “penny stock” going public with the company owners in the private lounge overlooking the NYSE floor, with regular updates from SEC interns.
What the hell is “cbuyh” supposed to mean?
Cthlhu’s younger brother. Parents waver from “He just needs to apply himself” to “He’s a bit of a slacker.”
When the stars are right, they’re going to ask him to start paying rent.
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Hellow.
How is your day?
My name is Luisa and you? Are you frequently on this site? I like your profile and want to chat with you, but unfortunately you was online 3 days ago. I hope that you will write to me soon. I guess that we will have many topics to talk about.
Do you have gmail?
Wow, that came into one of the corporate group mailboxes. Our Spam filter usually catches crap like that.
Best Popular Viagra Family Set
The family that plays together… Ewww.
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Office of Border Patrol
Ronald Reagan Building, New York
From The Desk of: Michael J. Fisher
Chief of the Border Patrol
Attention: Beneficiary
The sad part is that very few people would know enough to recognize the number of mistakes in those four lines.
But I got a good laugh out of it.
Does he patrol the Chief of the Border, or is he the Chief of the patrol that patrols the Border? It’s left rather ambiguous.
Also, heh heh, M J Fisher? Sending emails to individuals outside of the USBP? Really? That’s up there with “From the desk of Mrs Windsor, Queen of the British” for levels of that-would-never-happen-ness.
Not exactly spam, but I saw this one while driving between Apple Valley and Hesperia yesterday:
How defensible is your home? Call XXX-XXX-XXXX for details.
Somehow, I don’t think he/she is worried about the zombie apocalypse.
Wouldn’t surprise me if there are a lot of preppers up in the high desert.
I’ve seen a few anti-UN signs along the same stretch of road.
Yeah when I drive to Vegas, I kind of expect to see Reba McIntyre and the dad from Family Ties’ characters from Tremors in that area. 
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Is there any spam that isn’t phishing attempts or scams anymore? I’m getting nostalgic for the ads that just wanted me to buy crap.