And the people they are trying to avoid the attention of are smart. Which makes it even more stupid.
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No, I am not joking
Unfortunately your data was leaked in the recent hacking of the Patreon web site and I now have your information. I have your tax id, tax forms, SSN, DOB, Name, Address, Credit card details and more sensitive data. Now, I can go ahead and leak your details online which would damage your credit score like hell and would create a lot of problems for you.
If you would like to prevent me from doing this then you need to send 1 bitcoin to the following BTC address.
Bitcoin Address:
1QAQTyhCzAfvp8uLpneBNamWTNRR1hx9Cp
You can buy bitcoins using online exchanges easily. The bitcoin address is unique to you. Sending bitcoin takes take, so you better get started right now, you have 48 hours in total.
There is just so much wrong with this. I canât believe they are using this for spam, as if nobody would notice all the errors.
I read a study from a psychâŚsomebody who explained that while it seems counter intuitive, the spammer actually can benefit from weeding out the smart ones.
If youâre going to try and snag someone and get them to give over money, information, both⌠why battle those of us who know better? Remember, spam is a business of thousands or millions of message being read, cheaply. Get half a percent response and youâre still doing OK⌠hell, probably making money.
The most blatant example would be the 419 âNigerianâ style scams. You WANT a gullible dummy to reply. You couldnât care less how many smart people scoff at you.
That may be true, but what I was thinking of, a HTTP redirect command with a zero-second delay, only takes a minute to set up and helps snag even more people.
Subject: Why the Chinese donât suffer from hair loss
Next up: Why dirt doesnât have silica in it.
The Best Popular E D Family pack
Stop it, brain, stop it! Donât think about it! Arrrggh!
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Jamie Dimon isnât a âmanagerâ at JP Morgan Chase, morons.
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I am you pleasure
So, is âYou Pleasureâ a stage-name or a nom de plume?
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Well, I do occasionally pop on my by junk box, in case Iâve missed something. What a positive greeting though! Weâre off to a great start!
You want to become more harmonious and honourable, which is only possible if you have a husband? Did the last forty years of feminism teach you nothing?
Do you need one or many men? I mean many men would be more fun, but traditionally polyamoury is frowned upon even by non-religious types. Also, you suggest that all these men share one soul?
I canât parse that. I canât ridicule what I canât parse.
No. Iâm gay. Next.
I donât know, I find your lack of modesty to be a rather negative quality.
You go girl, take all that walk!
But you have misunderstood how letters work with this non-sequitur.
I imagine having the whole population of the planet, including myself, come visit must have ruined your concentration and made studying impossible.
Iâm glad you found a job that you love. Especially after managing to finish your education with all your guests!
Whoa, pure energy? Thatâs a shame, I prefer being mass. And also not on fire.
The â!?â at the end of that makes me imagine you saying this in the style of a stereotypical shy American high-schooler asking someone out⌠âWOULDYOULIKETOCOMETOTHEPROMWITHME!?â
Your charming qualities suddenly include shy modesty after already proving how vainglorious you really are in the first half of your email?
You hope Iâll let you know soon, or meet you soon? Also, you didnât tell me your name. Nor where you currently live, if it is any different to where you studied.
All in all, Iâd give this email 4/10. It was amusing, but the syntax error it caused my brain lost it points.
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DO YOU WANT TO BE RICH?
No, Iâm fine with my name the way it is, thank you. Name changes are a nightmare of paperwork and bureaucratic nonsense.
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It has returned people! Behold, the most blatant phishing attempt known to Hotmail recipients!
I have no shame in admitting that I want to fill this in with garbage data just to get a conversation going. For old timesâ sake 
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Make your dream date a reality!
Youâre going to resurrect Johnny Weismuller?
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This is just getting silly now. These are all sent from the same address to the same block of addresses (because obviously I can see everyone else in the mailing pool, itâs like the 90s never ended!). Each message is slightly different from the rest, with different grammatical errors which actually genuinely work with Russian translation, which is kinda impressive.
Although I have no idea what theyâre using as an apostrophe, because it shows up as missing_symbol in every message. Perhaps itâs code? What is this, some new Cold War spy drama? âŚor just bad UTF?
Theyâre using a different character set, and the font doesnât use that character set.
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Reverse your Blood Pressure in only 7 days!
That doesnât sound very comfortable, and Iâm sure it would probably kill me.
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80 over 120 sounds perfectly safeâŚ
âŚfor a lemmingâŚ
KILLING AN AMERICAN CITIZEN EVERY 5 MINUTES
No, thanks, I suck at keeping deadlines.
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From: The Youtube
Hi You have deferred emails orthodoxy
- YouTube doesnât have an email service.
- YouTube doesnât have an email address with a â.xyzâ TLD
- YouTube never calls themselves âTheâ YouTube.
- Stop calling me orthodoxy. Only my sex-slaves may call me that.
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So, this wasnât e-mail, but I just got a call telling me that they were from the IRS and that it was my final notice about taxes due. I laughed and hung up.
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My favorite was asking for their credit card number, so you can bill the scammer for the support call. Gotta try that next time.
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