Fun Spam Mail

And the people they are trying to avoid the attention of are smart. Which makes it even more stupid.

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No, I am not joking

Unfortunately your data was leaked in the recent hacking of the Patreon web site and I now have your information. I have your tax id, tax forms, SSN, DOB, Name, Address, Credit card details and more sensitive data. Now, I can go ahead and leak your details online which would damage your credit score like hell and would create a lot of problems for you.

If you would like to prevent me from doing this then you need to send 1 bitcoin to the following BTC address.

Bitcoin Address:
1QAQTyhCzAfvp8uLpneBNamWTNRR1hx9Cp

You can buy bitcoins using online exchanges easily. The bitcoin address is unique to you. Sending bitcoin takes take, so you better get started right now, you have 48 hours in total.

There is just so much wrong with this. I can’t believe they are using this for spam, as if nobody would notice all the errors.

I read a study from a psych…somebody who explained that while it seems counter intuitive, the spammer actually can benefit from weeding out the smart ones.

If you’re going to try and snag someone and get them to give over money, information, both… why battle those of us who know better? Remember, spam is a business of thousands or millions of message being read, cheaply. Get half a percent response and you’re still doing OK… hell, probably making money.

The most blatant example would be the 419 “Nigerian” style scams. You WANT a gullible dummy to reply. You couldn’t care less how many smart people scoff at you.

That may be true, but what I was thinking of, a HTTP redirect command with a zero-second delay, only takes a minute to set up and helps snag even more people.

Subject: Why the Chinese don’t suffer from hair loss

Next up: Why dirt doesn’t have silica in it.

The Best Popular E D Family pack

Stop it, brain, stop it! Don’t think about it! Arrrggh!

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Jamie Dimon isn’t a “manager” at JP Morgan Chase, morons.

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I am you pleasure

So, is “You Pleasure” a stage-name or a nom de plume?

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Well, I do occasionally pop on my by junk box, in case I’ve missed something. What a positive greeting though! We’re off to a great start!

You want to become more harmonious and honourable, which is only possible if you have a husband? Did the last forty years of feminism teach you nothing?

Do you need one or many men? I mean many men would be more fun, but traditionally polyamoury is frowned upon even by non-religious types. Also, you suggest that all these men share one soul?

I can’t parse that. I can’t ridicule what I can’t parse.

No. I’m gay. Next.

I don’t know, I find your lack of modesty to be a rather negative quality.

You go girl, take all that walk!

But you have misunderstood how letters work with this non-sequitur.

I imagine having the whole population of the planet, including myself, come visit must have ruined your concentration and made studying impossible.

I’m glad you found a job that you love. Especially after managing to finish your education with all your guests!

Whoa, pure energy? That’s a shame, I prefer being mass. And also not on fire.

The ‘!?’ at the end of that makes me imagine you saying this in the style of a stereotypical shy American high-schooler asking someone out… “WOULDYOULIKETOCOMETOTHEPROMWITHME!?”

Your charming qualities suddenly include shy modesty after already proving how vainglorious you really are in the first half of your email?

You hope I’ll let you know soon, or meet you soon? Also, you didn’t tell me your name. Nor where you currently live, if it is any different to where you studied.


All in all, I’d give this email 4/10. It was amusing, but the syntax error it caused my brain lost it points.

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DO YOU WANT TO BE RICH?

No, I’m fine with my name the way it is, thank you. Name changes are a nightmare of paperwork and bureaucratic nonsense.

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It has returned people! Behold, the most blatant phishing attempt known to Hotmail recipients!

I have no shame in admitting that I want to fill this in with garbage data just to get a conversation going. For old times’ sake :smiley:

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Make your dream date a reality!

You’re going to resurrect Johnny Weismuller?

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This is just getting silly now. These are all sent from the same address to the same block of addresses (because obviously I can see everyone else in the mailing pool, it’s like the 90s never ended!). Each message is slightly different from the rest, with different grammatical errors which actually genuinely work with Russian translation, which is kinda impressive.

Although I have no idea what they’re using as an apostrophe, because it shows up as missing_symbol in every message. Perhaps it’s code? What is this, some new Cold War spy drama? …or just bad UTF?

They’re using a different character set, and the font doesn’t use that character set.

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Reverse your Blood Pressure in only 7 days!

That doesn’t sound very comfortable, and I’m sure it would probably kill me.

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80 over 120 sounds perfectly safe…

…for a lemming…

KILLING AN AMERICAN CITIZEN EVERY 5 MINUTES

No, thanks, I suck at keeping deadlines.

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From: The Youtube
Hi You have deferred emails orthodoxy

  1. YouTube doesn’t have an email service.
  2. YouTube doesn’t have an email address with a “.xyz” TLD
  3. YouTube never calls themselves “The” YouTube.
  4. Stop calling me orthodoxy. Only my sex-slaves may call me that.
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So, this wasn’t e-mail, but I just got a call telling me that they were from the IRS and that it was my final notice about taxes due. I laughed and hung up.

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My favorite was asking for their credit card number, so you can bill the scammer for the support call. Gotta try that next time.

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