The "Oops" category

[Ook]

All things “oops” goes in here, and which cannot be categorized at all. Have fun!

From the one forum I frequent come this

Fark, just had a surreal experience.

Had a braai for about 30 guys, half of them muslim. There’s lots of meat but one local muslim guy brings some wors which his good friend brought from South Africa and is apparently halaal. I’m thinking it’s nippies, like normal Cape Town halaal wors. It certainly looked like it.

So me and my bud from Brackenfell cook up a storm for all of the people there and the muslims chomp these ‘nippies’ down like there’s no tomorrow. Then during a break in cooking, me and my bud snap one in half and have a nibble and instantly look at each other. Oh sh*t, this is absolutely and totally and no mistaking, a pork griller with cheese through the middle

So whether the cheese is halaal is not really in debate, but fsck me I’m not so sure the pork is. But a dozen or so muslims have just had this stuff for supper and all commented how lovely it was

[balance]

I misread ‘braai’ as ‘brain’ and ‘nippies’ as ‘nipples’ which did not aid comprehension.

Is ‘braai’ a term for cooking out on a grill or similar?

[Ook]

@balance

Is ‘braai’ a term for cooking out on a grill or similar?

Yes, you got that right. It’s our national pastime, by sacrificing meat on a fire

[ClockWorkXon]

There have been occasions where pork products have been labelled as halaal. Whether it was malicious or accidental is up for debate.

I’m not sure what I would do in this case. On the one hand, informing them of the problem allows them to go to their religious authorities and receive whatever absolution or whatever necessary.

On the other hand, it could really piss them off. Admittedly, whoever labelled this as halaal should have some consequences, and others should be warned.

But it could turn ugly.

[Ook]

Same guy, but in Dubai at the moment :

So I get to the shopping mall and decide to have a burger before hitting
the supermarket. That’s a double whopper, chips and a coke, thank you
very much.

I sit down at the food court, dip the first chip in some mayo, lift it
to my open and welcoming lips, SPLAT, a drop of mayo falls off the chip
and right between my legs where my peen is minding it’s own business.

So now I have a grease stain right exactly where my bellend resides, and
on the cargo pants I’m wearing, it shows up nice and clearly and just
like a pee stain. No amount of wiping would remove this thing. It’s a
grease stain that looks like a pee stain. And I’ve got 2 floors to go
down to the other side of the mall to the supermarket for grocery
shopping.

Only one thing for it. I dip a napkin in some mayo and clandestinely
under the table set about making marks on one of my pockets so it looks
like the original splash is on the perimeter of the more prominent
splash.

I think I got away with it, but I grabbed the first trolley I could find and never let go until I was back at the car.

[Force10]

That’s what he gets for dipping his chips in mayo instead of in ketchup like a normal person.

[ClockWorkXon]

This is from a friend of mine:

So, I noticed the bathroom mirror was dirty, so I went into the kitchen to get the windex. Then I walk back into the bathroom with a sandwich and no windex.

@Force10

That’s what he gets for dipping his chips in mayo instead of in ketchup like a normal person.

I prefer ranch, actually.

[Force10]

@ClockWorkXon

I prefer ranch, actually.

Still a better choice than mayo.

[CaffeinatedNoms]

I’d been walking round the house looking for the scissors, making ‘snip-snip’ motions with my fingers.

The husby asks what I’m looking for, and inexplicably I reply “string”. I don’t know why I said string, I didn’t need nor want any, but he proceeded to spend two hours re-organising the spare room trying to find the string that I eventually found in the same cupboard as the good scissors.

Oops.

[Ook]

[moufassa]

[ClockWorkXon]

Somebody please tell me there was someone carrying in that room, to protect that poor motherboard.

[moufassa]

I’m still laughing at the way she’s holding the soldering iron.

[ClockWorkXon]

I missed that part.

[Ook]

Who missed the soldering iron part?

I was like :wtf: when I saw what she was doing…

And also no protection against static electricity - IIRC you need a mat, wrist strap and other assorted goodies before working on sensitive electronic circuits…

[ClockWorkXon]

The part that stuck out to me is the fact that is the wrong type of soldering iron, and the fact that she seems to be holding it against the CPU.

[Ook]

CPU? Non.

CMOS Battery? Aye.

[Woodman]

She’s part of the witness protection program, trying to burn her fingerprints off.

I swear people who take stock photos should look at stock photos before staging shots like this.

[Ook]

And think before doing a shoot.

Maybe they had a tender for some photos, and grabbed the cheapest offer…

[Woodman]

@Ook

Maybe they had a tender for some photos, and grabbed the cheapest offer…

I think they had a room that looked kind of “techy” and a box full of random tools. I suppose we’re lucky she’s not using a multimeter on it. Or a wiggler.