No, no, no! He should offer to do it for $9.9K 
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Screw it, teach them a lesson, once they outsider fucks it all up offer to do it for $15k.
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Dear $luser
Are you so fixated on me that you think out imaginary problems with your PC just to have me close to you?
Quit wasting my time, or else Iâll start to ignore you.
@Woodman - excellent reply! 
Dear $site_installer
Nobody discussed an installation at $site with me. So I cannot help you with subnet allocation, $problem or whatever the fsck you wanted.
Tough. But that is how I will roll in future. Either it get discussed with me, I take part in it, or it does not get discussed with me, and I stay the fsck out of it.
Fair is fair.
kthanxbai.
Dear $vendor:
Enough with the NOLOCK hints in your queries. They were poor form a year ago. Now theyâre just embarrassing, and probably the cause of the problems weâre havening now.
At the job where I was learning SQL queries, they pretty much insisted that I use NOLOCK on all of my queriesâŚ
⌠And they were probably wrong
Been there, tried that, got burnt.
Never again.
So I had some leave in for Monday and Tuesday.
On Tuesday at 11:30 the Metro Ethernet link got cut off. Work phoned me at 12:00
I ignored them for most the rest of the day, until 15:00, had a quick look remotely, passed the problem over to our ISP as it was ISP related (carrier line down).
Next day (Wednesday) I managed to switch the work over to a working (slower) line just to get the blabbermouths to stop. Around 11:30 to 12:00 ISP phoned me to inform me that the line is up again.
Joy.
Switched back to the ME link, and everybodyâs happy.
Moral of the story : Schit happens, especially if you donât pay your single IT person a callout/standby allowanceâŚ
And you wanna be my latex salesmanâŚ
The hardest mistake to deal with is the one you make yourself. The hardest choice to make is admitting it was you after the fact.
I swear the times Iâve been able to admit this at the office, and personal relationships, have gotten me more kudos than screwing up cost me in the first place.
Somehow this doesnât work out to be âFuck up and move upâ though.
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Leave my coat where it is thank you. The reason I put it there is so it doesnât fall off the hangar. There is no gap at all between my coat and the end of the coat rack so you have no reason or justification for moving my coat and putting yours at the end.
P#&% off.
Our stock did not drop 5% from its 52-week highâŚin the span of less than 2 days.
Dear $Luser
What is so mysterious and terrifying about the message saying that âyour password will expire in 5 daysâ?
Donât ignore it, do change your password. If you donât know how, ask.
Otherwise you can piss off.
Waaaaay back when, we were running Novell as our network OS. The countdown timer sounds much like what you said, @ook⌠maybe youâve got Novell?
Anyway⌠the message said (maybe it still does):
(Emphasis mine)
That turn of phrase caught SO many people. It gives them the impression they have a choice.âWhy no, I wouldnât like to change it!â
I so, so , SO wished Novell would have changed the message to
@DocDubious - Nope, got a Server2k3 environment here. When you log on, you are informed of the fact of password expiration. Yet lusers still ignore it.
But yeah, have got Novell 3.12 experiences. Those were the good days. 
The way I remember it (though I could have this confused with Windows) is that it asked you if you would like to change it up to the point where it expired, then it told you to change it.
This seems like a reasonable way to handle it.
Maybe mighta changed it since 97-ish, @MikeP.
As it was then it would âaskâ you daily if you wanted to change, then when you hit zero you were locked out.
Call the Help Desk!