A ticket just came into the queue that I thought was George worthy.
“Need help with the copier, no working”
That’s the whole ticket. The subject was “Copier no working”
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Is it “no working” because it’s jammed? Out of toner? WHAT? FOR THE LOVE OF GOD GIVE ME GUIDANCE! And Boomer’s pic perfectly illustrates the Lusers.
What they want is a tech to come, stare at the copier and get it working. You have no idea how many times just that have been the case. Oddly enough, this is allways when said copier has not been used for a few days/hours and needs to warm up. before use. A luser finding me and dragging me there gives the copier enough time to do just that. But for the luser, it is my presence that is the clue.
I really should keep track of all the crazy descriptions of tickets I see when I do the monthly scrubs (to see if we actually missed the SLA or if it was a luser that cause the miss). I know there were a couple last month that had me and one of the leads chuckling.
Just got this one last week:
Description: 58175 Could we please provide new_employee with an Outlook Account? She is a new Registered Dietitian with Wellness Services.
I have cc’d new_employee on this e-mail in case you need any further information from her, as well as to send her any instructions on how to access the account. Please let me know if you have any questions. Thank you in advance!
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That’s a good one. Like sending an e-mail to everyone telling them that e-mail is down. 
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Ha - my work has actually done this. 
I have had our help desk (as well as a few field techs) do this, much to my chagrin. I guess the end user has a special intar-web to receive THOSE mails on.
I’ve had my telco ring up my home phone and leave a message* to say they were still working on the issue I reported.
The issue I reported was that my home phone wasn’t working.
I originally rang them using my mobile - and gave them the mobile number so they could contact me with updates.
(*) The voicemail is server based and was obviously unaffected by the phone outage.
Out IT Department used to have as standard procedure:
Create new network account
Create new email account
Email user account details to user including password to access network and email account.
It was a joy to work with them.
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That is pure gold.
Got this one yesterday via an email (the lusers don’t even bother to have our phone monkeys enter a service ticket anymore):
Hi [Boomer],
I have a new employee starting tomorrow, and we need an AD/Exchange account for her.
Thanks,
[Luser]
That was it. Nothing usable whatsoever. The asshattery is running rampant.
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Oh, come on! You got the new employee’s gender! You’re supposed to just know everything else. 
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I’d reply back: “That’s great! Glad to know your department is doing well!”
Nothing else…
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Got this ticket in just now :
“Can’t access [server], can you check for me?” …
no error message, no error description…
I bet lots of work got done there!!! 
Not a ticket, but an excerpt from an e-mail I received from one of the global team who is working on a project they want me to help on:
Hi $Regional_Mgr:
El Gee raised concern below over being the project POC for Americas, mainly that there are no clear expectations from the project, which is a fact but should not be a problem in my view,
I’ll invite you to a short call tomorrow, should you need to appoint an other POC (I need one fast as the project is rolling.) I’ll just share what I know of the project and what kind of information I look for from the regions.
/br
$Global_Mgr.
This was the fourth e-mail I received from the gentleman. The first two contained about 10 megs of spreadsheets and Powerpoint presentations going over things I am not familiar with, along with some attached e-mails dating back a couple of weeks. The third e-mail stated that the team “did not have a cookbook for the activities” but he wished they did.
All I did was ask for a short meeting so we could discuss the deliverables and he sends the above e-mail to my bosses boss.
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I’ve heard it said that a person who brings a problem to their manager without a solution is not a problem - they’re just complaining.
So too might a project with no clear expectations be categorised!
Somewhat ironically, the converse of that says that if the manager takes a problem to an employee, he’s expecting to receive a solution. I tend to think that it has to do with relative problem solving skills although I doubt that a manager will see it the same way.
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