Things you wish you could say (at work)

Oh, boy. You really know how to complicate things, don’t you?

What used to be a straightforward method of noting where an item could be used has been replaced with a multi-step process that involves a chart, comparing it to the unit being worked on, then looking in up to four different places, if not more, to find a match because you don’t have a complete list anywhere. The keys to deciphering this are scattered hither and yon.

No one is going to know how to do this. If we get it wrong, are there going to be legal ramifications?

Listen.

I’ve told you that database connections via VPN WILL. NOT. WORK. over a VSAT link.

Yet you keep on bleating about that shit.

I’m going to gaslight you from now on. There’s nothing more that I can do.

We will have to wait for a fixed line to be installed, with the VSAT link as a backup, and I don’t know when that will happen.

Psshhht.
Are you even trying?

An account lockout happens when you type in your password incorrectly for three consecutive turns.

No ifs, buts, maybes… the computer does not lie.

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I’m the guy that engineered the whole data flow you’re talking about, but sure, go ask the guy that has no idea about it. It’s not my time you’re wasting, but I definitely wasted my time explaining it to you that the problem is not the data flow.

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I AM NOT A WORDPRESS ADMIN!

If you want to secure our wordpress site, pony up and get a properly qualified Wordpress admin with the experience to match.

Don’t try to save money by going for the cheapest. Cheap means jack shit in this instance.

Suck it up, that’s the ONLY way to sort this shit out.

And excuse my swearing, I’m just highly upset.

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If you want to ask me a question, make sure you have my attention first! Not only is it more courteous (and logical) to politely engage with someone before making a request, I am also hearing impaired and probably won’t even know you’re talking if you don’t.

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By the way, previous wordpress admin left a couple of security holes open.

Had to login and close all the loopholes.

That borked the website… a little.

It is what it is. Deal with it, and get somebody to fixxit. I’m not going to waste my time trying to fix it with AI as I have no idea what I’m doing.

(BTW I’ll do a little bit of AI with programming as I have an idea of what to fix and what to do if the AI-generated code is slop and breaks… not so with web-based things and PHP…)

This happened every few days at $oldJob (before we outsourced L1 support).

”my account is locked out”
”Ahh, did you forget your password?”
”no, I definitely know my password and entered it correctly but the computer won’t accept it and now the account is locked out. this is so stupid, you need to do something about this”
[unlocks account] ”OK try again….”
”nope still not working”
”Is caps lock or numlock on?”
”oh… it’s working now, thanks” [click]

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Dear $team_leader

Why are you including HR in an email regarding an user having connection speed issues?

I’m getting “power play” vibes. Keep in mind that cellular connectivity cannot be guaranteed, and that the onus is on the EMPLOYEE to have a stable Internet link, not the company.

Failing that, the employee have to work from office.

I’m going to be blunt, because, Wizard’s First Rule, and I’m getting miffed now.

Also because us IT plebs have been denied remote work even though we could come in every second day… (sort of rotating between two persons, so that there’ll always be an IT person at the office).

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I was asked to find out yearly IT expenditures, which I did.

I did sent a list to Finances, and included the line “I cannot recall or remember any other annual expenditures, but will let you know should more come to light”.

But I did not count in Development. My bad. I should have asked them as well, in hindsight.

But then again, you guys did not follow proper communications, and that’s something I’ve been hammering on for some time already.

And thinking on it, the previous head of finances did take due diligence by sending in a spreadsheet every year to every department, asking us to fill in our expenditures and budgets… she got terminated for reasons, and now we’re here.

Honestly if I was securing Wordpress these days for anything non-trivial Step 1 would be to set up one of the add-ons that allows it to output to a static site. Only expose the static site.

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I wish I didn’t have to say I’m thankful it wasn’t me who woke up and found out they suddenly didn’t have a job any more. Eventually at some point, it will be me.