Things you wish you could say (at work)

Yes, I opted against the take home laptop because my home machine is a beast, and yes that’s made everything so much easier… not.

My department is not going from 4 to 2 by the end of the month with me being the defacto top dawg. Also, the other half of that 2 is not going to go on vacation for a week the first week of October. Luckily I have all the access and privileges I need to accomplish the work of 4 people!

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/rant begin

why the fsck do you dimwits still divert money to the other lossmaking corporate entity instead of cutting your losses and shutting it down? we’re really down to brass tacks here

/rant ends

Bwahaha. $CFO have one of those nifty little coffee espresso dispenser machines in his office. Guess who pay?

Lord Dimwit Flathead the Excessive’s spirit is alive!

I make that statement when I look at the excesses and wastages of the top brass, not to mention the stealership at the head of our country… sad and disgusting.

Seriously… You’ve been here like 10 years now. How do you not know what software is required to run our Citrix apps? (hint… It’s Citrix) I’m not sure how else to explain it to you.

Fsck MySQL and fsck these large databases…

EDIT: Finally, a solution.

Yeah, sure, don’t bother asking the guy who’s been working on this app for ten years for his input into how a change should be made. He only would have had a good answer within 10 seconds, instead of a pointless (and wrong) conversation amongst yourselves that took over an hour.

Why the fuck can’t discover these errors BEFORE I send payroll, not after. Do you know how much of a pain it is to correct things once the interface has gone? I know you’re down a person, and you have to cover while he’s gone. Well, guess what? We’re down a person here as well, and I’m the only one covering for him, unlike down there where you’ve split his work four ways. And at least he’s only on leave and may return sometime in the future, unlike mine who quit and who they seem to be in no hurry to replace.

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I know it’s hard to understand, but I got plenty of work to do on my end. I don’t need you adding more work that you can do, but refuse to since you can’t bother to spend 10 minutes learning how to do them.

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As this is the work bitching thread, I thought I’d brighten everyone’s day by reminding them that they’re not these people.

SunTrust Severance for IT requires workers to be on-call for 2 years

The headline is a bit misleading but from what I’ve read, it seems it wants it’s ex-workers available as knowledge resources if they ever need to call them. Now I’ve helped former bosses with a password or a hint as to where to find a document on occasion, but if I had this, I’d decline the severance and walk.

That’s absolute horseshit. They’re trying to have their cake and eat it too. If you want to kick your people to the curb for H1B folks that will work for 60-70% of the current staff, you must realize that you get you pay for. So don’t bitch when they don’t have the knowledge or skills of the former employees. You can’t have it both ways.

Also why do we continue to give out so many H1B visas when so many Americans are out of work. The whole “there aren’t people with the skills we need in this country” doesn’t pass the sniff test. Unless, of course, said skill is “willing to work for peanuts”.

It sounds like the majority of the work is being shipped overseas, with a minority being H1B.

To be fair, our education system sucks. You can’t “teach the test” and expect graduates to be able to function in the workplace, especially something like IT.

But my advice would be to sign the agreement, take the check… and walk away. They’re more likely to succeed in subpoenaing the entire US Congress than getting a judge to rule in their favor against an ex-employee.

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$DROP DATABASE$?

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Ditto. I’ll also walk. Better that way, than trusting that the law will side with you when push comes to shove.

Me three. I’d tell them where they could stick their severance.

What? Your husband saw one weather report that says it might rain for a few minutes while you’re at an all-day festival and you suddenly want to change the day you took as vacation to a different day? But not this day or that day because you have other plans. Oh, it would be more convenient for you if my husband changed all the meetings he stacked on one day so I could work for you this other day, the day that is now showing a 10% chance of scattered showers? Never mind if those meetings are regarding a multi-million dollar project and data center move; I’m sure the corporation won’t mind. FOADIAF Asshat. Not. Going. To. Happen.

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Let me guess, the Ann Arbor Fart Air?

A follow-up and thought-provoking article by The Register : Laid-off IT workers: You want free on-demand service for what now? • The Register

Bwahaha!

http://www.theguardian.com/world/2013/jan/16/software-developer-outsources-own-job