Things you wish you could say (at work)

Dear $Manglement

Boss and myself planned the internal office move from one building (whose rental leash is about to expire) to another building.

Bossly Unit also asked a couple of times regarding the move, but no reply was forthcoming from Top Brassy types.

We communicated our intent and got the painter to paint out the section where we were moving to.

Only when we started to pull network cables did you deem it fit to appear on the scene and change things. We stopped the work we were doing, and is now waiting for you to make an official decision.

Better hurry, time is running out.

If you’re logged in remotely to a training session from a part of the country that is further west, make sure you have plenty of coffee on hand. I don’t appreciate hearing you snoring while I’m trying to understand this.

Plus, unprofessional. If I have to strap on a kilt to get here, the least you can do is be a little bit awake.

You didn’t remember that I was on training this week, but you remembered that you had asked me to send you an email to remind you that I was on training this week. How does that even make sense to you?

3 Likes

I’m very much looking forward to my meeting this morning.

1 Like

STOP SAYING THAT!

I know that it has become common for people to insert the the short phrase ā€˜go ahead’ to indicate what they are going to do or as part of an instruction, but this guy says it all the time, for everything. Not only that, he says ā€˜over here’ in almost every gorram sentence. I was going to try to count the number of times he said each (just for fun) but had to stop after 30 minutes after counting 10 of the first and 40 of the second.

I am now insane. I’m doing this course the rest of the week. Wish me luck.

2 Likes

Only now? :smirk: I went insane long before my 20th birthday…

Lots of negative employees here.

Lovely.

$manglement doesn’t give a damn. Will make my day if all of us can manage to resign at the same time…

You sure you don’t work in my office?

Sharepoint, what is up with your sorry excuse for pagination? It’s bad enough you only offer a single page forward/back control, but most of the time you can’t even do that right, giving me bizarre results.

1 Like

I so wish.

Thinking of sending an anonymous email to the chairman of the board and complain about $CFO’s conduct at the company - he doesn’t care about expenditure…

Case in point - when company car (BMW) was in for some minor panelbeating repairs, he ordered a rental mercedes, not just a cheapy either.
And he have 5 company SIM’s… ****** knows what he does with them.

1 Like

sharepoint =? shitpoint?

DO IT! :no_mouth:

1 Like

Pretty much.

If you want me to attend the mandatory training course, be aware that it’ll probably put me in overtime for the week.

I work nights, people! Not even by choice: It was a requirement of the position, and one that was discussed several times during my onboarding. I’ve accepted it and adapted, now it’s your turn.

(Actually, I did say this, albeit in a more polite manner. If they want me to attend the course it could potentially turn my normal 8 hour day into a 12+ hour day, depending on how things work. But if the bosses think ti’s important to pay me OT rates for a happy-happy-joy-joy company brainwashing meeting, I’ll do it. OT money is good.)

Bosses want to pay me OT to scrub the bathroom with a toothbrush I’ll happily do it once or twice a year.

1 Like

Well… Is that the only time the bathrooms are cleaned? Because in some cases, even OT isn’t worth it.

Final verdict was that I should come to the meeting. So I’ll get some combo (partially my choice) of an early exit Friday and OT. Not a terrible deal, really.

1 Like

True. But I held on to that when someone wanted me to do something stupid like hand enter a 2000 member census into excel because all they had was a scan of a fax of a copy. Since I’ve been salaried, I’ve gotten a lot more selective about crap like that. You can’t pay me more, so if it’s stupid I just wont do it, or I’ll make it clear that it’s preventing me from doing X, Y, and Z.

They tax your pay, not your time.

fuck you $reception, for putting allsorts of salespersons through to me.

It is not my job to make purchase decisions, it is my Boss’ job.

Piss off thanks

$luser, you think you’re so clever in looking up the passkey for our SSID on a windows7 laptop?

Guess again, I have blocked your unauthorized phone on our wifi network.

Muhuhaha.

2 Likes