There, FIFY
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Apparently I changed two VPN passwords without letting the appropriate parties know, and now said department head is out to kill me
lol for the day
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But wouldnât they just immediately phone you anyway? Isnât that a lot safer than sending the new passwords out via post-it note?
Due to a lack of morale and feeling a bit derpy, I left earlier. Muhuhahaha.
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Shame it wasnât Friday, then you could really enjoy it! 
I think today is a good day to just ignore you completely and pretend you barely exist. Yes, that sounds like a great idea. I get to be relaxed while I run the office and you can justâŚstay out of my way and not talk to me.
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Dear $CIO
It was my day of leave. I decided not to answer any calls because I wanted to enjoy just one day of leave without attending to work issues.
If the brown stuff hits the fan on Monday morning, then so be it.
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Dear $CIO
Nowhere is it law that I have to answer my phone or return your call(s) during my leave.
I was not in the mood for a fight on this Monday morning, but there will be a next time you will try to get hold of me during my leave, and I most certainly will not answer nor return your call(s).
Good luck with terminating my employee contract on that basis. Iâve had enough of this kind of exploitation.
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Permission to expense a drone with a tazer and ship it to the remote site I expect issues from?
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âIf you change the plan again, I get to shoot you.â
Oh wait, I did say that. Miraculously, the plan did not change.
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Useless procurement system. Still waiting for a 400W PSU.
In the meantime losing PST files as the machine plays bouncy-bouncyâŚ
Backups FTW. PST files restored, only a day or twoâs emails was lost.
Which is not acceptable. But it is better than losing everything.
Gah.
Ah, using personal issues and your blood pressure medication as an excuse for being generally useless. Sometimes I wonder why you bothered to take this job, seeing how horrible you are at managing stress. Hereâs a tip I can give you: Work towards being better at the job by actually doing stuff.
Oh, but what I know? Iâm just the person who handles 90% of the workload here.
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Bottom line: You donât know a f***ing thing.
Iâll just go ahead and assume you meant to say âfarthingâ.
Despite me being nearly 5x more productive than you, more skilled than you, and more reliable than you, you still think itâs a good idea to nitpick my timesheet over the first time I went out for a long lunch in months (in this case, It took an hour and a half because I was catching up with my old boss).
Seriously, this is why I hold you in very little regard and why, whenever I look at you, I have to resist a strong urge to give you a straight jab to the face. Constantly telling me âI appreciate all the hard work you do everydayâ doesnât mean crap to me when you always treat me like Iâm a new employee in spite of my 8 years here. Years that might actually be considered distinguished because everybody favors my work. Each time you pull this garbage, my respect for you inches even more towards the much-deserved â0â.
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Dear $Manglement
Micromanaging your workforce is unproductive.
Lay off with it
kthanxbai.
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Iâll come out straight and say it :
Fck you $ProjectDamager
I tole you how many antivirus seats (we need to $toll_route), even sent you a breakdown of numbers
Now you bitch and moan and say it is too much?
Fck you. Piss off. Get lost.
fck, still pissed over that, people donât read their emails.
What would you be if you were attached to another object by an inclined plane, wrapped helically around an axis?
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