My brother-in-law was fond of jokes, but I can only remember the punchline of one of them, so the following is the best I can come up with to recreate it the circumstances for it. It was nowhere near this long, but blame that on me being a budding writer.
On a sunny day, Kermit the Frog walks into a bank. After being shown to the appropriate department, he’s greeted with “Good morning. What can I help you with?”
A quick glance at the nameplate on the desk doesn’t give him much in the way of a clue on how to address her, so he opts for what he hopes is the safest choice. “Well, you see, Ms. Wakk, interest in the Muppets has picked up recently and I’ve been thinking of renovating my house. What I’m looking for is a home improvement loan.”
“Ah, yes. I thought I recognized you,” she replied. “We’re always interested in helping people make their lives better. How large of a loan are you looking for?”
“I’ve done my research and got estimates on the work to be done. I think $900,000 should cover it.”
“That’s a lot of money. What do you have for collateral?”
Kermit removes an object from a carrying case and sets it on her desk. “It’s been in my family for many generations. It’s been appraised at over that amount.”
The loan officer looks at it. “I think I need to run this by my manager.” She picks up the phone and dials an extention. “Gerry? This is Patricia. I need your approval on a collateral issue.”
The manager arrives in a few minutes. She holds up the object and tells him, “Mr. Kermit wants to use this against his loan, but I have no idea what it is.”
Gerry smiles broadly and says, “It’s a knicknack, Patty Wakk. Give the the frog a loan.”
(Yes, I did a search for the punchline, but still wanted to try my hand at writing the replacement for his joke.)
He’s making a database
