Latest BOFH (Ep 14, 18 Sep 2015)

[Ook]

Most Excellent

“You’re the one who wanted it,” I tell the Boss in response to his fuming.

“I didn’t bloody want it at all!”

“Yes, you distinctly said you wanted some call screening that would filter out the timewasters who hadn’t read the FAQs from the helpdesk queue.”

“Yes, but I di-”

“It had to be FIFO, had to be able to distinguish between real people and IVR robots or automated callers by some form of simple random test.”

The Boss is flapping. “Yes, but…”

“And it had to prevent people from bypassing it. Your words.”

“Yes but I didn’t mean this,” splutters the Boss.

“You were fairly specific,” the PFY says. “No idiots, no robots, no bypass, no preferential treatment. This is exactly what you were after.”

“NOT THIS!” he snaps, dialling the helldesk number.

brrr – brrr<

Welcome to the Desktop and Laptop support desk. To ensure we are talking to a real person we require you to complete a simple IVR test. Press 2,4,6 and 8 to navigate or 5 for other options.

beep<

You are in a twisting maze of little support options all alike.

beep<

You are in a twisting maze of little support options all alike.

More here : BOFH: Press 1. Press 2. Press whatever you damn well LIKE • The Register

Enjoy!

[moufassa]

Gold (bars)!

[ClockWorkXon]

OMG It’s Zork.

An IVR version of Zork. Okay, there’s evil and then there’s evil.

[sig]

I adore interactive fiction. This pleases me greatly.

[Ook]

pick up bar

bar… bar…

[Rizak]

“You’ve reached Ritual Sacrifice. To sacrifice a loved one, press 1. For goats, press 2.”