My new saying:
Just ‘cause you put syrup on somethin’, don’t make it pancakes.
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Kabul and Afghanistan’s just a hot mess now.
Shades of Saigon in 1975.
Finances are shot.
But I have no choice. I need to get a newer car. My faithful Corolla have carried me around for 20+ years, but I have a gut feeling that its time is coming.
I am looking at a Suzuki Jimny, a small 4x4 Jeep thingy, which will be a good buy, especially with family living in the boondocks and up a mountain.
At least a 2nd hand unit will work out considerably cheaper than a new car, but my budget’s very tight 
Fuck this government and fuck things in general. I’m feeling a bit depressed right now.
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As far as I know, the Irish are the only people who can make “face” a two syllable word.
Dunno how you’re thinking we pronounce it, but there’s only one syllable.
Unless you’re being eloquent and pronouncing it “No chance, now go get fucked.”
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The tale of a grandfather clock that effectively circled the Earth twice.
Posted by Font Lady in the comments section of the August 27, 2021 Breaking Cat News comic.
Around 20(ish) years ago, I really wanted a mantle clock that chimed every 15 minutes like the one my grandparents had when I was a kid. So I did some research and found one in an antique and clock shop in London. How wonderful. I contacted them, ordered it, paid with a credit card, and they said I should get it in 4 to 8 weeks. Not bad. I had a tracking number so I could watch its progress. And thus the adventure began. The distance around the Earth is about 24,900 miles.
From London the clock went to Paris (295 miles). Ok, maybe there was a shipping hub or something there. In any case, it looked to be on track to travel the 4,879 miles from London to Abilene. Then it turned east and headed for Germany. By truck. I started calling the shop to see if they knew what was going on. They didn’t. About 840 miles to Munich then a bit over 6,900 miles (not including side trips, presumably to visit a few tourist sites) to Shanghai. Weeks and weeks had passed and I was calling London every week or so. The nice young man who worked there was as puzzled as I was as to what was happening. From there it was just a quick hop (1,100 miles) over to Tokyo where it was put on a ship. All it had to do was cross the Pacific to get to the US. It didn’t.
Several months went by while the ship was lost and found by the tracker. It sailed southwest towards the Philippines before turning southeast to skirt around the east coast of Australia. About 5,100 miles, give or take before finally heading west along Australia’s southern coast and over to the Cape of Good Hope (6,408 miles). From there the ship headed north to somewhere around Sierra Leone, around 3,500 miles before turning to finally cross the South Atlantic Ocean to Brazil, about 3,100 miles. “Hi! How is the family? Business good?”
And of course, the ship (slow boat from China?) turned south again to go around Cape Horn, some 3,300 miles before heading up along the coast all the way to Seattle! A bit over 16,000 miles. At least it had made it to the US! From Seattle my clock was sent to Chicago, 1,700 miles, then New York, another 791 miles, all by truck. Then south to Atlanta, around 865 miles, before finally starting the last leg of the journey. Atlanta to Dallas is 780 miles and Dallas to Abilene is only 180 miles and finally, after 18 months and traveling over 50,860 miles I finally had my clock! I wound it and set it and a few minutes before it chimed, I called London for the last time. The nice young man got to hear it chime over the phone and we both celebrated.
She responded that the clock was made in 1900 and still works but it needs to be cleaned and oiled. One of the chimes thunks instead of chimes.
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A work mate says that I need to try duck eggs. He says that they’re fantastic.
I’m taking a quick trip up to the Chinese megamart to see if I can find a small clutch.
When I saw the word “clutch” I imagined @Rizak looking for a small clutch for a car…
/bangs head
My brain wondered why he can only find purses at the Chinese store. 
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I ordered and paid for my snow removal service today. I was telling the Dragonlady this, and mentioned that at least when I die, the driveway will be cleared. She mentioned that it’s nice to know that I won’t die from a heart attack from shoving the snow around. I said that it would probably be from too much cheese and we had a brief chat about how she should try to find someone to prevent me from eating too much cheese. Now we’re trying to figure out how a directed denial of cheese would work and I don’t like the turn that this conversation has taken.
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MELON MELON MELON
+++ Out Of Cheese Error +++
Insert Cheese Into Mouth
And Press Left Nostril To Restart
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I like the band Clutch
To all the hair stylists out there, unless I can be mistaken for Andy Rooney in a lineup, I do not need my eyebrows trimmed.
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Crap. I parked my Jeep so long ago I cannot remember what level it’s on. 
That’s what the alarm button on the keyfob is for.
Seriously, I have done that. 
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It’s a possibility. I’m pretty sure it’s on two but it could be three. I remember going up in the elevator and the bridge is on four, so I have a little info to start from.
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This is why I liked the placed we stayed in at Virginia Beach a few years ago that that gave each floor a number (obvious, I admit), a color, and a sea creature. Hopefully one of the three sticks.
(I still save parking info in my phone when traveling though.)
Yup, the one time I did it I got up to level four, which is where I usually parked, and the car wasn’t there. Frantically called Mr. TM to tell him I thought the car had been stolen. He was the one who suggested setting off the alarm. Found the car parked on three, almost exactly where I usually parked on four. 
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Ja, I know that feeling.
The sinking balls/stomach/etc feeling you get when arriving at your parking spot only to find no car.
Then the feeling of relief and joy when you do spot your car in the next row.