Dear $luser
Coffee and laptops don’t mix, mkay?
I know you have a crappy probook 4520s laptop, but at least it is something while we can order a new^H^H^Hreplacement one for you.
And why did you put all your personal stuff (files etc) on a company-issued laptop? tsk tsk… just be glad I’m not the type who likes to browse in other people’s files and stuff…
I’ve been sat in here all day playing with these mains cables, wiring them up to one another, splicing them, screwing them into sockets, and switches, fuse units and lamps.
And I don’t have a sodding clue what I’m doing because I’m high on codeine. Muahahahaha!
Should we call in the constabulary for a welfare check?
And thank you for not including alcohol.
Haha, codeine is just a painkiller (as I’m sure you knew) and I wasn’t on that high a dose, I just like scaring colleagues, especially the ones who’re terrified of mains electric haha 
Seriously, you guys need to contact the main support line first. Should I suddenly get into a catastrophic car wreck or decide I don’t care to answer your direct emails at night, you won’t have anyone helping you.
I’ve done some electric work, and I’m totally terrified of it. Likely some of my best work actually since I check and double check, and then look at it again. I’ve been zapped by a telephone line, I don’t need to get hit by real power.
Oh, yes, by all means, go ahead and keep interrupting me. After all, what I’m saying is not important. I just blather on with useless information that has no bearing on how you do your job. You don’t need to be considerate of my feelings and can keep talking over the top of me, not letting me finish my sentences. I have lots of time to deal with your interruptions and then go back to what I was trying to talk about, which I would have finished saying within ten seconds if you had not been rude to me with these interruptions.
Hahaha… I once had a 20 amp breaker blow when one hand touched the live wire and the other hand was touching a metal electrical box, creating a ground point.
Yes… across my chest.
Now, I was VERY sweaty so probably a lot of the current ran across my skin, and there were already several lights on the circuit so I didn’t take all 20 amps… but it was still an event to remember.
And curse at the nimwit who did such a poor job at wiring the plug so the live wire touched the metal casing.
Mine was a left forearm leaning on the punchdown block, and a right arm leaning on the mainframe while reading shitty documentation. Felt it go through left arm, tickle heart, and then go out right arm.
Felt kind of odd for a few minutes. Other than that I’m nsdlas fin e. Nooo prblems at alllll.
I was helping a friend clean her apartment and started working on the overn. It wasn’t in bad shape, a grill brick took care of it rather quickly.
My friend asked me if I didn’t want to unplug the stove before removing the heating element. I said no, the oven’s turned off anyway.
I got knocked halfway across the room.
In the words of Vince Gill, “I would like to thank the guys in the sound booth for my vasectomy.”
sod off, mkay?
Hour one of my first day back from 3 weeks off was not spent with the fraud department for my company card.
Apparently during my work trip from over a year ago, some vendor/person?/something managed to snag the digits of my card. They tried to buy a fancy sports hat and car parts with it from stores regional to SF. At least the Fraud Dept managed to block the transactions.
I have found that the credit card companies I deal with are getting pretty good and figuring out what is and is not something I would buy. Or places I would go. So far, each time our digits have been snagged, no transactions have actually made it through. In fact, they are a little over-cautious, which would be my preference anyway. Though sometimes the fear makes me want to go off the grid and back to cash, but that’s not realistic anymore…
I use cash for 90% of my purchases.
Paypal for another 5%.
But my wife has to use a card to travel with. Using cash to reserve hotel rooms, plane flights, and rental cars just doesn’t work.
That’s one problem with using a prepaid debit card like I have been. They’re not all that quick to block transactions, and it costs me to question dubious charges to my card.
Then again, there are only two places where I let my card leave my hand (been burned by that one before!), and I’ve been doing business with them long enough and often enough to know that they aren’t interested in risking a visit from ICE over what little they could get off my card.
I had the opposite problem - I was trying to buy plane tickets to Morocco for my dad and I online, through Royal Air Maroc, and it kept declining my card even though I knew I had enough room. This was on a weekend, so I couldn’t get in touch with my bank until Monday, at which time they told me “oh, yeah, we blocked that because we didn’t think you’d be buying plane tickets to Morocco”. Fortunately the price didn’t go up while I was getting everything sorted out.
Your bank doesn’t have customer service on weekends? Most banks here do. I worked sat Hell’s Cargo, and we had reps 24/7 available to answer questions.
“That’s why I get paid the big bucks?” Yeah, right. How about “if I work my ass off and Initech ships a few extra units, I don’t see another dime”.
Dear $CFO
Be prepared for some seri-ass pissing on your batteries/parade/whatever. You deserved it.
kthanxbai.
Going off the grid, while it has its advantages at keeping your privacy, comes with too many self-sacrifices to be realistic for me, IMO.
Cash is great, but honestly, but I’m running into far too many places that don’t accept it. That, and I’m not entirely comfortable walking around with anything more than $40. I really don’t want to have to continue returning to an ATM or bank because I’ve spent my $40 on one thing or another.
As for companies being vigilant, I’m thankful, but they can be a bit too vigilant. @TechnoMistress, I had a similar experience. We just moved, so in preparation of doing so, I called and notified my bank to give the heads up. Twice. We were doing great up until the trip to Wal-Mart to rebuy all of our liquid products (cleaners, oils, cooking supplies, etc.) and other household items. My card was declined, my wife’s card declined. We had the money, the bank just wasn’t going to let us use it. When I spent the half hour at the checkout discussing it with the bank, I got no excuse. They just thought it might be fraud because reasons. Despite the embarrassment that is that situation, I’m honestly glad they pay attention. I’d rather than then have to argue with whether or not purchases that did go through were valid.