My children fully understand the importance of a clean house, and have volunteered to assist me in this endeavor on this blustery snow day.
Why do I have to trim your catās claws?
But youāre so good at it!! And I promise I will cook dinner tonight!! 
Yes, I have my phone and itās not bothering me like a missing tooth right now.
I heard it in the car this morning when we were looking for it, and when I got to the office and she wasnāt in the car anymore I couldnāt find it. I just went out there with her calling it and couldnāt hear it either.
Iām guessing it ended up in her lunch bag or something.
edit:
We emailed back and forth and my darling wife asked if I wanted her to call the phone while I went out there to look for it. Awesome idea!
Except after I went back into the blizzard and hung out in the car for a while and came back half frozen and called her and said it didnāt ring she said that she hadnāt called since she was so busy so far this morning. If you were that busy why did you offer? So then I go back out again, and still donāt hear it. I have no idea where the damn phone is, except I donāt have it, and I donāt think itās in the car, but it was in there when we got back from getting donuts.
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I am good at it, but itās his cat! And I will be the one to cook dinner tonight.
I know that the reason he asks me to do all of the claw trimming and giving of pills and other meds when needed is because Iām good at it, but he really should learn how to do it himself. Luckily, the new ginger and white tom (who is now named Scraps) is very mellow, and didnāt mind getting his claws trimmed much at all. All he did was whine a bit.
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Fourth time is the charm. Somehow the phone got into the compartment under the drink holder, which had my drink in it this morning, so I have no idea how it got there.
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Glad you didnāt spill your drink!
There was not a brown anaconda in the menās room when I had to go earlier. It flushed when I pulled the handle and I was able to take care of business.
I cannot believe that thing was in there and it came out of a person. It should have had a brass nameplate above the toilet and been enshrined somewhere. And I found that I am totally unable to even contemplate sitting above something like that and doing my business. I went to another floor.
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Nope, she wonāt do it due to religious reasons. Guy is borderline bipolar too after a stroke hit him many years back. The good side of him is enough for her to tolerate his crap. Iām only tolerating it because heāll be gone to the Philippines next year, when his wife retires.
Yes Iām perfectly aware we agreed to D&D night on Monday nights but you see, generally, when one is ill with a particularly nasty cold that one picked up from the hospital, a cold so virulent and cruel that it makes one cough up blood-spattered phlegm, they donāt want to spread it round a house that hasnāt had it yet.
The fact that youāre getting passive-agressive over me being nice is rather irksome.
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Thanks @Woodman, I needed a good ROTF laugh today
One reason among many that I no longer play: people who think that they are entitled to have a good time at a game. It takes many forms, but the whine of ābut why canāt we play tonight?ā in high on the list.
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I wish I was joking man. It was bigger than my forearm.
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Either you have small forearms or someoneās ass was in some serious pain after birthing that beast.
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(Cretin asked if people would support this no-name third party which he is the supposed Presidential candidate - and apparently the only member of)
That hasnāt worked since Teddy Roosevelt and the Bull Moose Party. Also, get a proofreader for your releases.
ETA: And cretin just got down-blocked by Quora
I am going to sneeze, and it is going to be unpleasant. No, passing me tissue paper wonāt work because when I do sneeze itās with all the force of a category five hurricane. Thereās no tissue paper on Earth strong enough to contain my snots.
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Ahhh, remembered my promise for our snakes and ladders (mini circles) here in SAā¦
Trucks and buses have a hard time navigating that. And, if youāre driving at night, then you have to be extra vigilant as the speed bumps are not always demarcated, which makes for fun drivingā¦
This was in response to :
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Yeah that would be a mini-roundabout here, just painted on to let large vehicles over it.
Also amused that you guys have started painting the Yield triangle on the road too. Most of Europe thinks weāre mad for doing it 
Let me share with you something my father once told me:
Get the fnck out of my house.
Sheās not being charged with having sex with a student. Sheās being charged with statutory rape, and possible breach of public trust (or whatever the local law calls it).
Stop dressing it up as āshe got laid, he got lucky, the police are party poopersā.