Things you wish you could say (everywhere)

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For those who are curious… :slight_smile:

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Hey dude, learn another song. Seriously.
I get that Sultans of Swing is a great song. And complicated, so I’m pleased that you mostly play the right tune.
But the same people walk past here every day, and they know that you are playing the same song every single time.
I really feel sorry for the people who work around here as it must get really boring for them.

2 Likes

If going outside will miraculously cure my chest cold, putting duct tape over your mouth should increase your IQ by a factor of twelve.

I didn’t know that the National Inquirer published a medical journal.

I love when people who know exactly zilch about me try to tell me how to run my life.

Yes, it is a human rights issue.

Show me one black man who got disowned by his family for the color of his skin.

Now shut up.

My Discover card number was not stolen. I do not have to wait 4-6 business days for a new card.

Once again, Microsoft Help tries to invent transparent mud.

Amazon, you need to knock this shit off.

Put through the authorization. Use the authorization code to put through the charge.

Putting in an authorization for the total, and then submitting separate charges for each item shipped, plays holy hell with account balances.

No, please, go down to the office and complain that I turned off the burner under your whistling tea kettle while you were out of the kitchen.

It doesn’t matter that you are not supposed to leave things on the stove or in the microwave unattended. It doesn’t matter that the tea kettle was already boiling (and whistling, even if you couldn’t hear it through a fire door and at the other end of the hallway). It doesn’t matter that no, water can not get hotter than boiling.

Hey, I’ll even walk down to the office with you and admit my heinous war crimes.

I realize that everyone in the building has their own “crosses to bear”, but that doesn’t give you the right to beat me over the head with yours.

Two 5000mg doses of Fukitol, please. In shotgun shells, if possible.

It is a very very bad idea to get into an argument over the PA regarding whether another cashier is needed to open a register or not. Especially if you are sitting in the back office and not even looking at the security monitors.

(I swear, she should get the Oscar for Most Unsupportive Actress)

The DMV’s website is much better than actually spending the six hours to do the following:

  • get to the office on the bus that is regularly is too crowded to allow other people to board.
  • stand in line with people who don’t understand that “required” means “you ain’t getting farther than this line without it”
  • get the change of address done while hearing “you could have done this online”
  • come home on the bus that is regularly too crowded to allow other people to board.

If you are ever in SF and see Bus #9 or #17… run away.

Since the conclusion of my licensing test 20 years ago, I have spent less than 6 hours total inside, or traveling to/from, DMV offices.

It’s fun to hate on the DMV, but NY seems to have done it right.

Arizona does it right too. In and out in about an hour (for Drivers license and vehicle registration/plates), and the license is good until you turn 65. Renewals of plates and all can be done online.

CA’s online services leave much to be desired. I had the site “time out” on me about twenty times. Then it told me my session had expired due to inactivity.

Indiana was a nightmare when I was younger, the last few years it’s smooth as silk as 90% of things can be done online.

I’m calling your mother.

Thank you for helping me go so fast that I went back in time, just so I could stop caring before you opened your mouth.

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The way you just pulled into that car park makes me wish your father had pulled out instead.

6 Likes

You push people to register online. You’ve got celebrities, 3D animation, flipping cartoons, you even have a flipping talking cat!

And this great, convenient, handy-dandy online alternative to sitting in a crowded waiting room, after practically being strip-searched…

Is only available from 7am to 7pm? And what time zone is that, since you don’t specify on the “this system is not available at this time”?

I’m tempted to contact my local Congress-critter to ask why so much money is being spent on this crap… But I am too familiar with the way she works, so I’ll just cut out the middle-woman and slam my dick in a drawer now and get it over with.

TL, DR; government websites are built, maintained, and supervised by people who aren’t competent to understand the concept of “the Internet does not sleep.”

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Actually in order to keep up union employment quotas the website is actually a human being interacting with you and the next page doesn’t display until they hit the any key. There are five or six employees doing this at a time with 6 monitors, each of the webpages has an auto stop wait for external input in the code. What the people in charge haven’t realized is that the employees have just rigged everything up so that each session gets a key stroke every 5.6 seconds and they all sit around drinking and playing cribbage and racing the office chairs down the hall.

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What is it with you people and 4 o’ bloody clock in the morning? This is the third morning in a row that something (domestic disturbance, someone pounding and yelling on your door, or your damn dog barking it’s head off) that you’ve woken me up around 4 AM. Just move away, already!

The next door neighbours were pretty quiet when they moved in. Then they started growing pot, and things have just gone downhill from there.

It’s funny, I was one of those people that was like “legalize pot and make all teh crime go away” but it doesn’t seem like it has totally worked out that way. Partially because of the unconstitutional federal laws regarding marijuana, which has caused the banks to not want to hold on to pot money so there is a huge amount of cash just laying around, and it seems some of the criminal infrastructure just won’t go away. Hopefully this is a temporary situation.

Nabiki, I feel your pain, I have a drama neighbor, and a yappy dog neighbor, and nothing is worse than sitting, awake or asleep, in your quiet place and having something startle you out of it.