Things you wish you could say (everywhere)

This has always been funny to me. Technically, they can arrest you for walking out of a bar with friends and laughing and falling down as you get into your ride.

Of course in Indiana they can arrest you for drinking in public in general.

If this purchase doesn’t go through because the appraisal won’t be done on time, you will only have yourself to blame. We tried to get you to finalize the contract for two weeks, and now that you have, all appraisers are scheduling out into January and February. What did you expect? We can’t make them go faster. Even by offering them twice their usual fee they can’t physically get it done and through bank review by your arbitrary deadline. So now you might be sitting on that building for a while.

Or, amend the contract. Your move, asshat.

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OK I get that you’re hurt. I am trying to apologize and make amends but if you’re just going to twist the knife in the wound or outright refuse to talk to me it’s not going to make things better. If you need time that’s totally understandable, but freaking tell me that instead of continuing to tell me all the ways I screwed up.

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Oh geez, I hope that’s not related to your new shiny

Lol no it isn’t

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We have two digits in our temperature.

I don’t have twelve loads of laundry to be folded. And I’ve acquired a magical laundry fairy so I never will again. :unicorn:

Hook a brother up. We’ve both been sick the last couple weeks and laundry is getting ā€œdoneā€ but not well and almost nothing is folded… it’s just sitting on the laundry table looking at me.

I keep meaning to tackle it before my wife gets home from work, but then blah hits me and I don’t get around to it.

When I find one, I’ll send her sister your way. I’m an hour in. About halfway done. Just need to shower, grocery shop, and run errands before 4. No problem, right? 3 hours is more than enough time… :smile:

I’m not stuck at 95% done with christmas.

I know exactly what Santa is getting my daughter.

I haven’t been almost done shopping for over a month.

Seriously, I have bought my youngest like 5 things, and my wife already gave her four because they were clothes. I have a keyboard stand (Musical) and one of those dig a fossil thingies left. She doesn’t play with toys, and all she’s asked for is a glockenspiel and a horse. I’m getting the Raspberry Pi for both of us.

I don’t have any kids, but I would totally do this if I did.

Wrap up some fake, empty boxes and put your kids names on them. If they do something bad, throw one of those boxes on the fire or in the garbage.

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You have a touch of evil genius about you.

To my 17yr old daughter:
Use your GD phone!
I pay enough for the phone, monthly bill and various accessories, please call me or answer my calls.
That is what the Frickin’ device is for!!!
You’re out an hour past your curfew and I’m worried sick.
I’m pulling out the little that’s left of my Frickin’ hair!
Where the hell are you!!!

What I did say when she came in the door and explained:
I’m so glad everyone is home safe.
I’m so sorry to hear you and your boyfriend got a flat tire.
Yes it is lucky I got AAA for you and you could use it on your boyfriends car.
How about the next time something unexpected happens you give me a call or at least pickup your phone, m’kay?

Seriously, I don’t think she has ever answered her phone when I’ve called her. (and yes, I texted as well)
I’ll get a return call or text most times but almost never does she answer on the first call.
I get the feeling I’m not alone on this issue.

On a side note: I’ve got to show that boy how to change a tire!
A few years back I showed both my son and daughter how to change a tire.
My son has actually done it on his own but I don’t think my daughter was paying much attention.
AAA is definitely worth it!!!

Whilst on this topic, I usually fasten the wheel nuts just enough so that you don’t need to have an hernia operation after loosing the wheel nuts.

Nothing like being stuck at the side of the road with a flat tyre and tight wheel nuts, esp in nowhereville or in any other dodgy as fsck place.

Well, there is sitting off the side of the road after watching your wheel roll down the road faster than you were going. For a second I thought I could balance on three tires… not so much, eventually you have to turn the wheel the wrong direction.

My old van never liked holding lug nuts. I had to usually get them tightened at a shop to keep them on.

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My two sisters are both a few years younger than me.
When the younger hit 16, she got a car class… I showed her some thing about how cars work, showed her how and where to check fluids, made sure she knew where the spare & jack were, then made her jack up the car, take the tire off & put it back on. This was when cell phones were rare and usually hard wired into the car. I wanted to make sure she had a chance of handling the situation in the event there was an issue while she was out alone. I think she knew more about cars than her boyfriend at the time.
The older one was more of a self-appointed princess. If there was a ever problem, she was more likely to delegate coming up with a solution to whatever guy was nearby.

Step daughter rarely answers when my wife calls… I’m all like, WTF? You’re in your mid 20s. Get your shit together. If you can’t the phone charged, and can’t keep track of its location, maybe a piece of mobile equipment that cost $600 isn’t for you. If it was up to me, she’d have service cut off for a day each time she failed to respond in a timely manner, not counting while she’s at work. Or maybe have the nice, shiny iPhone replaced with a barebones flip phone. I know she has broken the screen and had it repaired or replaced at least once within the first 4-6 months that she had it.

Sorry, end rant. :wink:
I don’t say all that out loud, of course.

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Oldest daughter got that, and then taught herself to change her own oil. I don’t mess with that, I do brakes, but the oil is cheap enough it’s not worth messing with.

The middle child blew all of that off, and is now living with a car geek. So she’s not only regretting not learning because it’s useful information she’s also cut out of a portion of her boyfriend’s hobbies. But she’s making up ground now.

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I just want to buy a cheap car for me and the kids to tinker with, so that I can learn them about the various parts etc… it is a good skill to have.

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I feel like my old Jeep would have been good for that. '99, so modern-ish. Or a friend’s old pickup, which is so big you can literally sit on the fender with your legs inside the engine compartment to work on it, should you choose.

I really don’t want to spend NYE with a small child with strep throat.

(Not my child.)

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