This has always been funny to me. Technically, they can arrest you for walking out of a bar with friends and laughing and falling down as you get into your ride.
Of course in Indiana they can arrest you for drinking in public in general.
If this purchase doesnāt go through because the appraisal wonāt be done on time, you will only have yourself to blame. We tried to get you to finalize the contract for two weeks, and now that you have, all appraisers are scheduling out into January and February. What did you expect? We canāt make them go faster. Even by offering them twice their usual fee they canāt physically get it done and through bank review by your arbitrary deadline. So now you might be sitting on that building for a while.
Or, amend the contract. Your move, asshat.
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OK I get that youāre hurt. I am trying to apologize and make amends but if youāre just going to twist the knife in the wound or outright refuse to talk to me itās not going to make things better. If you need time thatās totally understandable, but freaking tell me that instead of continuing to tell me all the ways I screwed up.
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Oh geez, I hope thatās not related to your new shiny
Lol no it isnāt
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We have two digits in our temperature.
I donāt have twelve loads of laundry to be folded. And Iāve acquired a magical laundry fairy so I never will again. 
Hook a brother up. Weāve both been sick the last couple weeks and laundry is getting ādoneā but not well and almost nothing is foldedā¦ itās just sitting on the laundry table looking at me.
I keep meaning to tackle it before my wife gets home from work, but then blah hits me and I donāt get around to it.
When I find one, Iāll send her sister your way. Iām an hour in. About halfway done. Just need to shower, grocery shop, and run errands before 4. No problem, right? 3 hours is more than enough timeā¦ 
Iām not stuck at 95% done with christmas.
I know exactly what Santa is getting my daughter.
I havenāt been almost done shopping for over a month.
Seriously, I have bought my youngest like 5 things, and my wife already gave her four because they were clothes. I have a keyboard stand (Musical) and one of those dig a fossil thingies left. She doesnāt play with toys, and all sheās asked for is a glockenspiel and a horse. Iām getting the Raspberry Pi for both of us.
I donāt have any kids, but I would totally do this if I did.
Wrap up some fake, empty boxes and put your kids names on them. If they do something bad, throw one of those boxes on the fire or in the garbage.
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You have a touch of evil genius about you.
To my 17yr old daughter:
Use your GD phone!
I pay enough for the phone, monthly bill and various accessories, please call me or answer my calls.
That is what the Frickinā device is for!!!
Youāre out an hour past your curfew and Iām worried sick.
Iām pulling out the little thatās left of my Frickinā hair!
Where the hell are you!!!
What I did say when she came in the door and explained:
Iām so glad everyone is home safe.
Iām so sorry to hear you and your boyfriend got a flat tire.
Yes it is lucky I got AAA for you and you could use it on your boyfriends car.
How about the next time something unexpected happens you give me a call or at least pickup your phone, mākay?
Seriously, I donāt think she has ever answered her phone when Iāve called her. (and yes, I texted as well)
Iāll get a return call or text most times but almost never does she answer on the first call.
I get the feeling Iām not alone on this issue.
On a side note: Iāve got to show that boy how to change a tire!
A few years back I showed both my son and daughter how to change a tire.
My son has actually done it on his own but I donāt think my daughter was paying much attention.
AAA is definitely worth it!!!
Whilst on this topic, I usually fasten the wheel nuts just enough so that you donāt need to have an hernia operation after loosing the wheel nuts.
Nothing like being stuck at the side of the road with a flat tyre and tight wheel nuts, esp in nowhereville or in any other dodgy as fsck place.
Well, there is sitting off the side of the road after watching your wheel roll down the road faster than you were going. For a second I thought I could balance on three tiresā¦ not so much, eventually you have to turn the wheel the wrong direction.
My old van never liked holding lug nuts. I had to usually get them tightened at a shop to keep them on.
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My two sisters are both a few years younger than me.
When the younger hit 16, she got a car classā¦ I showed her some thing about how cars work, showed her how and where to check fluids, made sure she knew where the spare & jack were, then made her jack up the car, take the tire off & put it back on. This was when cell phones were rare and usually hard wired into the car. I wanted to make sure she had a chance of handling the situation in the event there was an issue while she was out alone. I think she knew more about cars than her boyfriend at the time.
The older one was more of a self-appointed princess. If there was a ever problem, she was more likely to delegate coming up with a solution to whatever guy was nearby.
Step daughter rarely answers when my wife callsā¦ Iām all like, WTF? Youāre in your mid 20s. Get your shit together. If you canāt the phone charged, and canāt keep track of its location, maybe a piece of mobile equipment that cost $600 isnāt for you. If it was up to me, sheād have service cut off for a day each time she failed to respond in a timely manner, not counting while sheās at work. Or maybe have the nice, shiny iPhone replaced with a barebones flip phone. I know she has broken the screen and had it repaired or replaced at least once within the first 4-6 months that she had it.
Sorry, end rant. 
I donāt say all that out loud, of course.
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Oldest daughter got that, and then taught herself to change her own oil. I donāt mess with that, I do brakes, but the oil is cheap enough itās not worth messing with.
The middle child blew all of that off, and is now living with a car geek. So sheās not only regretting not learning because itās useful information sheās also cut out of a portion of her boyfriendās hobbies. But sheās making up ground now.
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I just want to buy a cheap car for me and the kids to tinker with, so that I can learn them about the various parts etcā¦ it is a good skill to have.
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I feel like my old Jeep would have been good for that. '99, so modern-ish. Or a friendās old pickup, which is so big you can literally sit on the fender with your legs inside the engine compartment to work on it, should you choose.
I really donāt want to spend NYE with a small child with strep throat.
(Not my child.)
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